Thor VS Wonder Woman

Thor VS Wonder Woman is the 84th episode of DEATH BATTLE!, featuring two returning combatants, Thor from Marvel Comics and Wonder Woman from DC Comics in a fight between Marvel and DC's royal and godly power houses. Thor is voiced by Jonah Scott and Wonder Woman is voiced by Natalie Van Sistine.

Description
''It's Marvel vs DC in a gargantuan battle to the death! Between the mighty god of thunder and the tenacious Amazon princess, who will survive?''

Interlude
Wiz: The different pantheons of gods and goddesses have always been rife with conflict, and these heavenly wars can last for centuries.

Boomstick: Like with Thor, Norse champion of Asgard and son of Odin.

Wiz: And Wonder Woman, Greek warrior of the Amazons and daughter of Zeus.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who will win a Death Battle.

Thor
Wiz: This is the Realm Eternal, root of the World Tree, and noblest of the Nine Dimensions, Asgard.

Boomstick: Like a protector for your butt?

Wiz: Shh, shh, shh... Asgard. Since ancient times, this colorful realm has been inhabited by warriors so powerful, many believed them to be immortal deities.

'''Boomstick: And they sort of were, but being immortal in Asgard is a funny thing. See, every few thousand years, these fellas go through a little apocalyptic event where everybody dies.'''

Wiz: Then they're born anew with only vague memories of their previous lives. This is the cataclysmic event known as Ragnarök. And Asgard's newest king, the All-Father Odin, was determined to break this cycle.

Boomstick: So he fathered the best damn warrior the realms had ever seen...

(We see young Loki with the words "Not You Dummy", then young Thor with the words "This Kid")

Boomstick: The Mighty Thor.

Wiz: Thor spent most of his life living among his people and defending his realm from its enemies.

'''Boomstick: And he was good at it, like, really good. He's their tank and DPS all rolled into one when it comes to raiding other realms, and boy, does he look the part. This guy is six feet, six inches of pure muscle, and possibly lead, because he somehow weighs 640 pounds.'''

Wiz: Thor was trained by the best in Asgard and has proven his mettle across multiple worlds. He helped found the Avengers, and has defeated everything from giants, to demons, to other gods.

Boomstick: As a real-life god, Thor is super strong, super fast, and super durable, and even on those rare occasions when he does get hurt, he patches up real quick with his healing factor.

Wiz: And of course, being the God of Thunder lets him control lightning and even the Earth itself.

'''Boomstick: But Thor isn't complete without his iconic arsenal. He wears the Belt of Strength, which doubles his already impressive might, and he swings around the most awesome tiny little hammer you've ever seen.'''

Wiz: Mjolnir is an ancient weapon. 65 million years ago, it was forged by dwarves by harnessing a star. Its construction was so intense, it caused the star to explode, and its fiery remains eradicated the dinosaurs.

Boomstick: Talk about metal!

Wiz: Speaking of metal, Mjolnir is forged from Uru, an extremely durable iron like ore that is highly susceptible to enchantment. Mjolnir in particular is enchanted to house a cosmic storm powerful enough to shake black holes. And yes, the wielders of Mjolnir can access the storms powers, including levitation and control over weather.

Boomstick: Never wanted anything so bad in my life...

Wiz: Unfortunately, only those the hammer deems worthy can actually wield it, or even pick it up for that matter. You must be pure of heart and noble of mind, or else it won't even budge.

Boomstick: Well, lucky for Thor, he's worthy of adding Mjolnir's awesome power to his own, and with their powers combined, nothing can stop 'em.

Wiz: Thor has easily tagged Quicksilver, who, at his best, can run around 670 million miles per hour, and Thor can move even faster than that when his hammer is dragging him around.

Boomstick: Yeah, that's a thing, Thor doesn't really fly on his own in the same way people like Superman or Captain Marvel do, instead, he literally chucks his hammer as hard as he can, and hangs on for dear life as it takes him for a ride.

Wiz: Thor has said Mjolnir is fast enough to reach the edge of the universe in sixty seconds, this means it can travel at least 350 trillion miles per hour, or over 500,000 times the speed of light.

Boomstick: Don't let go, Goldilocks, hitting pavement at that speed might hurt even you.

Wiz: Eh, he'd be fine, he can withstand a dip in the sun, where it can be over 27 million degrees Fahrenheit. And, while he was knocked unconscious, he did survive a bomb capable of planet busting, equal to a force of over 53 quadrillion megatons of TNT.

Boomstick: I'm more impressed that he lifted this giant ass snake, look at that thing!

Wiz: The Midgard Serpent is massive, capable of wrapping around the entire Earth twice. It stretches nearly nine hundred miles wide and fifty thousand miles long. By comparing it to the largest living snakes, the 550 pound Green Anaconda, we can estimate the Midgard Serpent weighs about seventeen trillion tons.

'''Boomstick: Hold on, Wiz. I know my snakes, and it looks like that mud-guard serpent is actually constricting the Earth. By squeezing prey, a snake can apply pressures sixteen times it's normal weight, so Thor didn't just lift a really heavy snake, he outmatched 272 trillion tons of force.'''

Wiz: Uh, that is correct, Boomstick.

Boomstick: God damn right it is.

Wiz: It is important to stress the unbelievable power Thor possesses, so much so that, in fights with other godly beings, whole worlds can shatter. If it ever comes to it, he can even enter a state of warrior's madness. While he loses some control doing this, his power increases ten fold.

Boomstick: Why did we put this guy up against Raiden again?

Wiz: Well, Thor's cocky attitude has put him into all kinds of trouble, he's even lost Mjolnir's power more than once as a result.

'''Boomstick: Yeah, the hammer isn't invulnerable, and if Thor's holding onto it, it's enchantment can even be tricked, like that one time the Hulk used his own hammer against him by moving his arm. Why you hitting yourself?'''

Wiz: So, to teach Thor a lesson in humility, Odin banished him to Earth, transforming him into a handicapped human.

'''Boomstick: You call that a handicap? That's a limp. I'm over here with a friggin' shotgun for a leg, and I'm not even allowed to park in the special parking spaces.'''

Wiz: Still, it turns out sending Thor to Earth was all part of Odin's plan to alter the cycle of Ragnarök, as such a thing had never been done before, and it worked! Four thousand years after the previous Ragnarök, Armageddon was stopped for good. And the gods were free, all thanks to Thor, and a giant, time traveling, floating, sentient eyeball, but mostly Thor.

Boomstick: Can't make this stuff up.

(Thor faces a rock monster, which roars at him.)

Thor: I accept your surrender.

(the other bad guys laugh, Thor spins his hammer and smashes the monster to bits.)

Wonder Woman
Wiz: Legend has it, that lost among the waves sits a solitary island called Themyscira, shrouded in secrecy and inhabited solely by women.

Boomstick: Hey Wiz, guess what's my new number one vacation spot?

Yakko and Wakko Warner: HELLO, NURSE!

Wiz: Despite their paradise isle far from civilization, the women of Themyscira are more dangerous than you'd think. They are Amazons, immortal warriors created by the Olympian gods. Their mission: To spread the peace and justice of the gods to a barbarian world.

Boomstick: And ship anything to you for free within two days.

Wiz: If you pay an annual fee.

'''Boomstick: But a bunch of centuries later, they were kinda out of the loop. These chicks had never even heard of shotguns before.'''

Wiz: Until the day a military plane crashed near the island. Determined to reconnect with the world and establish peace once again, the Amazons held a tournament to select a representative.

'''Boomstick: The final test requiring each lady to block a bullet from just a couple yards away. Damn, they don't mess around!'''

Wiz: The winner was one of their youngest, a brave woman known simply as Diana.

Boomstick: And that's how she became the Wonder Woman.

Wiz: Due to her warrior heritage, Wonder Woman was trained from a very young age in just about every aspect of combat you can imagine.

'''Boomstick: 'Cause what else you gonna do on that island? She's a master with swords, axes, spears, bows, shields... Ah hell, like pretty much anything that isn't a gun.'''

Wiz: Her Amazon physiology grants her super strength, super speed, heightened wisdom, and the ability to heal from most wounds almost instantly.

'''Boomstick: And she can fly, just like Superman. How else do you think she'd get around, an invisible jet? That's stupid! How would you even remember where you parked it?'''

Wiz: To further improve her deadliness, she carries a rather unique arsenal, among which are her iconic Bracelets of Submission.

'''Boomstick: Ah. That sounds like some weird BDSM shit.'''

Wiz: Well... they kind of were, but the universe has been reset more than enough times to change all that, thank God.

'''Boomstick: Right. Anyway, those bracelets are her greatest tool for defense.'''

Wiz: Forged by the smith god Hephaestus using the remains of Zeus' legendary aegis shield, the bracelets are impervious to nearly anything, including gunfire, demon lightning, and Kryptonian heat vision. Which can be hotter than the sun.

Boomstick: They can summon Zeus' lightning, or even the indestructible aegis they were made from.

Wiz: To avoid collateral damage, the bracelets also suppress some of Diana's strength. Taking them off vastly increases her godly power.

Boomstick: Oh, and she can use them to summon weapons, like her magic sword.

Wiz: Also forged by Hephaestus, this sword's edge is so sharp that it can slice through microscopic atoms. This means a precision strike from Wonder Woman can cut through nearly any material.

'''Boomstick: Man, this Asbestos god makes some top notch stuff. Wonder if he does commissions?'''

Wiz: Well, he's not responsible for Diana's final weapon, the Lasso of Truth.

'''Boomstick: This unbreakable whip has the power to make anybody it touches tell the truth. Bad news for any cheating boyfriends she might have.'''

Hippolyta: What other depraved thoughts must you be thinking?

Col. Steve Trevor: God, your daughter's got a nice rack.

Artemis: Shall I kill him now, my queen?

Boomstick: Of course, she doesn't need weapons to prove her awesome combat skills.

Wiz: According to Batman, Diana is the greatest melee fighter in the world, which is no small feat in a universe with people like Karate Kid, Deathstroke, and Batman himself.

'''Boomstick: Did you say the Karate Kid? Man, Daniel-San's really moved up in the world.'''

Wiz: The point is, Wonder Woman is a master martial artist who's trained all her life, and while she has no official birthdate, we do know she was born during the age of the Roman empire, specifically when they employed centurions. Including the additional time she spent fighting in Valhalla before going back in time, this means Wonder Woman must be about 3,000 years old.

'''Boomstick: All things considered, she looks pretty damn good for her age, and that's more than enough time to become a master ass kicker. It also helps that she's pretty darn quick, she's kept pace with Superman, and defeated the speedster, Professor Zoom, while blind!'''

Wiz: At one point, Wonder Woman was battling an ancient god who had fragmented himself into trillions of pieces, each spread to different corners of the universe, and while he summoned his pieces back at faster than light speed, Wonder Woman was able to stand in his way and block all of them.

'''Boomstick: That's insane! I mean, she's moving so fast, there's like, a bunch of her.'''

Wiz: Moving thousands of times the speed of light can do that, in fact, she's moving so fast, she's probably breaking all manners of quantum physics.

Boomstick: She's also ridiculously strong, she punched Doomsday into literal dust, and helped pull the Earth around.

Wiz: The force needed to move an object out of the sun's orbit equals around one thousandth of the object's mass, including the Earth itself. Assuming Wonder Woman was pulling her fair share, this means she can lift 2.2 quintillion tons.

Boomstick: Huh, and Grandpappy Boomstick always told me women were the weaker sex, I don't see him lifting a third of the Earth.

Wiz: She's also incredibly tough, nuclear explosions hardly even phase her.

'''Boomstick: Oh yeah, she punched a warhead and tanked it point blank, and then one day, Superman, who could see atoms, decided to split one to test her magic sword. Surprise surprise, it literally blew up in their faces. Ha ha, wacky antics.'''

Wiz: Even more impressive was her fight with Zoom, in which she took several light speed punches, which, according to her fellow Justice League member, The Flash, hit like a white dwarf star. That would equal two billion megatons of force.

Boomstick: Unfortunately, Wondy's not invincible, she's got her own Kryptonite, and it's a lot more common than radioactive alien rocks.

Wiz: Her durability holds up well against almost everything, except for piercing weapons.

'''Boomstick: Which just seems like an unacceptable weakness when you’re that strong. Knives, swords, spears, any kind of blade will do the trick, but especially bullets, which is probably why she's gotten so good at blocking them with those bracelets.'''

Wiz: Unfortunately for swordsmen and sharpshooters, Diana doesn't go down easily.

Boomstick: In fact, a good stabbing is more than likely just gonna piss her off, and that's when you learn just how dangerous Wonder Woman can really be.

(Diana spins and changes into her Wonder Woman costume)

Death Battle
(*Cues song from Werewolf Therewolf)

Wonder Woman is concentrating on improving her skills with a spear in her home, Themyscira. Suddenly a large jolt of lightning emerges from the sky. Diana places her spear back in the ground and grabs her shield to examine the mysterious occurence. Thor emerges from the concluding storm and starts examining his surroundings. Diana flies down to the stone garden he landed in.

''Wonder Woman: You! No man can enter Themyscira unannounced.''

''Thor: Stand down wayward maiden. This sort of thing never turns out well for women like yourself.''

Wonder Woman: Oh...

Diana summons a sword in her right hand as the two godly protectors ready their battle stances.

Wonder Woman: I don't think you've ever known a woman like me...

FIGHT!

The two heroes charge towards each other at high speeds. Thor tries smacking Mjolnir downwards but Diana flips over it and tries striking Thor with her sword and shield. Thor counters with Mjolnir and manages to smash Wonder Woman's shield.

Thor: You are a god!

Thor summons lightning from his hammer that Wonder Woman leaps over. She backflips when Thor tries striking her with the charged Mjolnir.

Wonder Woman: Incredible...

She spins horizontally forward to send the God of Thunder backward and the two exchange multiple strikes and counters with their weapons.Thor tries striking Mjolnir forward once again, but Diana blocks the blow with her Bracelets of Submission.

Wonder Woman: Time to stop holding back Diana!

Wonder Woman pushes Thor back, kicks him, knees him in the air, and then lands a devastating kick that sends the Asgardian prince into a nearby mountain. Thor breaks out of the mountain with his lightning strikes and holds Mjolnir close to his chest.

Thor: Mighty Tornado!

Thor summons a massive tornado that engulfs the area. Diana flies straight inwards and leaps off of a stone monument piece before smashing some of the flying pavement. Thor swings his hammer forward and clashes with Diana's Bracelets with Mjolnir, sending the two gods backwards.

Wonder Woman summons two blades from her bracelets and leaps high into the air. Thor tries shooting more lightning, but Diana deflects the projectile with the sword to confront the God of Thunder head on. Diana's intense speed and dual weapons prove too much for Thor and send him backwards.

Thor: Have at thee!

While flying backwards, Thor tosses Mjolnir at the Amazonian princess that Diana easily avoids. Thor lands on a nearby debris piece.

Wonder Woman: Hmph, such reckless abandon...

Diana is unaware that Thor's redirecting his hammer to fly right back at his opponent.

Wonder Woman: Poor, misguided fool-

Mjolnir strikes Diana and leaves her in a stunned state. Thor takes advantage and starts spinning his hammer.

Thor: Feel heaven's wrath!

Thor uppercuts Diana with Mjolnir so hard that it sends Wonder Woman right to the moon. Diana gets back up and notices Mjolnir flying right at her once again. She clings her Bracelets of Submission to summon a powerful force field that protects her from Thor's attack that ends up destroying the moon.

Thor retrieves Mjolnir as the debris from the exploding moon hit the ground. Wonder Woman flies at the Avenger at high speeds as Thor summons lightning from the sky.

Thor: Never shall the God of Thunder relent!

He directs the powerful current towards the Amazonian warrior, who blocks it with her bracelets as she flies forward.

Wonder Woman: You will to me!

Diana brings out her sword once more and goes on the offense, causing Thor to start bleeding. This sends Thor into Warrior Madness.

''Thor: I'll kill you! I'll kill you dead!''

Wonder Woman, who was just walking away, turns around at the remark.

Wonder Woman: Excuse me!?

Thor starts screaming as he brutally attacks Diana with Mjolnir. It proves to be overpowering for Wonder Woman as he smacks her on the ground with the hammer, but Diana manages to lessen the pain by blocking his blows with the bracelets. She manages to avoid Thor's last, devastating strike and wraps the Lasso of Truth around the God of Thunder's hand, causing Thor to hit himself in the face with Mjolnir. The blow was enough to send Thor out of his warrior rage.

Thor: What...

Before Thor can react, Diana stabs him through the back of his head and through his mouth with her sword, now in an enhanced state as Diana's taken the Bracelets off.

Wonder Woman: You're not worthy...

She rips the sword out and steps back as the God of Thunder meets his end.

KO!

Results
'''Boomstick: Woah, go Wondy! Looks like somebody's been watching too much "Game of Thrones"!'''

Wiz: Thor and Wonder Woman matched each other in some suprising ways: Their weapons were echanted, their years of experience were similar, and even their "Super Modes" did almost the same sort of thing.

Boomstick: But Lady Wonder had a couple big things going for her: Like her speed, sure Thor's fast enough to tag Quicksilver, and his travel speed with Mjolnir is just stupid fast, but Wonder Woman's shown that she's even more stupid fast in combat over and over again.

Wiz: Such as when she blocked trillions of god shards flying at her from the edges of the universe, most likely faster than any speed Mjolnir was capable of. She was even able to catch Zoom in her lasso, despite how he wasn't just running ahead of her in physical space, but he was also ahead of her in time. Wrap your noggin around that one.

'''Boomstick: Thor's durability was greater than Wonder Woman's, but the difference in strength was a different story: In fact, when comparing their Earth and Snake feats, she was 8,000 times stronger than him! But the final nail in Thor's coffin was their choice of weaponry.'''

Wiz: Mjolnir may have been tough for Diana to defend against, but it couldn't exploit her weaknesses to piercing weapons. Meanwhile, Diana's magic sword could slice at a microscopic level. Something Thor couldn't possibly be prepared to defend against.

Boomstick: You can have skin so tough that you can take a bath in the sun, no problem, but it won't do a damn thing to a blade that can literally sever your atoms.

Wiz: Ultimately, while many of their talents were evenly matched, Diana's speed, strength, and weaponry proved too much for Thor Odinson.

Boomstick: Yep, he was done Thor.

Wiz: The Winner is Wonder Woman.

Trivia

 * This is also the the 2nd episode of Season 4 to have combatants from Season 1, with the first being Metal Sonic VS Zero.
 * This episode features a number of firsts:
 * This is the first episode of DEATH BATTLE! to feature two returning combatants.
 * This is also the first DEATH BATTLE episode to feature both a DEATH BATTLE winner (Thor) and loser (Wonder Woman) facing each other.
 * This is also the first DEATH BATTLE where both returning combatants aren't pitted against each other in a remastered fight or rematch.
 * This is the first time a returning Death Battle Victor loses to a returning Death Battle loser.
 * This is the first Marvel VS DC fight that is also a Male VS Female fight.
 * This is also the first 3D animated Marvel VS DC fight where two heroes are fighting each other.
 * This battle is likely being done to commemorate the Justice League movie and Thor: Ragnarok, both of which will be released a few weeks after this Death Batte.
 * This is the first battle since Hulk VS Doomsday to have been delayed for FIRST Members.
 * This is the 42nd rivalry-themed episode in the series.
 * Diana is misspelled  as "Dlana"  in Wonder Woman's "Arsenal" section.
 * This is 10th DC VS Marvel episode in the series
 * This is the 13th Male VS Female episode in the series (Boba Fett VS Samus Aran (Remastered) doesn't count due to being a Re-Mastered episode)