Zelda VS Peach

This is the 20th death battle pitting Princess Zelda of Hyrule and Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom against each other. This episode was sponsored by JackThreads.

Description
''Episode 20 - Super Mario Bros. VS The Legend of Zelda! Two classic damsels in distress enter the ring! But with no heroic rescuer in sight, which princess will survive the brutal battle to the death?''

Interlude
Wiz: Today we're pitting two of the worst damsels in distress against each other.

Boomstick: If they're not getting kidnapped, they're always nagging at you to do stuff.

Wiz: Princess Zelda, of the Hyrule Kingdom...

Boomstick: ...and Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle.

Zelda
Wiz: As a descendent of the house of Hyrule, Princess Zelda has spent her entire life governing her kingdom. Despite having a king, most decisions are actually made by her.

'''Boomstick: Talk about a controlled government. And why did she get to do it? She's lost her kingdom to the forces of evil more times than I could count!'''

Wiz: Having to wait hand and foot, she has practiced with her modest arsenal.

'''Boomstick: Swords, magic, musical instruments. She also has a sword and dagger, but has little experience with them. Her weapon of choice is the bow, which she wields with deadly accuracy. She can use her magic to turn an ordinary arrow to the legendary Light Arrow, perfect for killing evil.'''

Wiz: Speaking of which, Zelda is an increadibly potent spellcaster. While most of her magic is used out of combat, she is more than capable of holding on her own. She can teleport with Farore's Wind, shield herself with Nayru's Love, and cast pyrokinetic projectiles with Din's Fire.

(music in background)

Wiz: Zelda is also the bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom, a testament to her estute mind. She can use this to repel evil. She is even skilled into creating disguises. She avoided seven years of Ganon's tyranny using the disguise of Shiek

'''Boomstick: Wait, that's a chick???!!!! But where's our...um...'''

Wiz: It SHOULD be noted however that the forms of Sheik and Tetra are no more than disguises, and abilites atributed to them would be used.

Boomstick: Yeah, but why would you want to toss tiny needles at people when you can shoot fireballs with your mind.

Wiz: Still, Zelda is a fierce competitor. She has defeated the forces of evil many times on her own. At the same time however, she constantly rely on other heroes to help her.

Boomstick: She's really good at getting you to do stuff.

Wiz: Right, she's a master manipulator. She can convince a naive young hero to do the dirty work for her to gain little or no reward.

'''Boomstick: How many times does this guy have to save you? Put it up already!'''

Link: You called for a hero, princess?

Zelda: Yes, but I guess you'll have to do.

Peach
Wiz: At first glance, Princess Peach appears to be your standard meek and helpless damsel-in-distress.

'''Boomstick: And that's pretty damn accurate. Being a member of the Royal Toadstool family, Peach spends most of her her time getting herself kidnapped, or baking cakes in the kitchen like any good woman should.'''

Wiz: Despite being a wealthy princess with a royal guard more than capable of defending the castle, she has been kidnapped over a dozen times.

'''Boomstick: Yet somehow, while behind bars, she can send mail to Mario through outer space containing items and extra lives. Hey lady, next time just send yourself!'''

Wiz: Peach is an extremely athletic and capable fighter. She has participated in a variety of different sports, including soccer, basketball, and kart racing; and has survived every Mario Party. And as we've said before, Mario Party is no walk through the park.

'''Boomstick: Peach's unique array of weaponry includes a tennis racket, golf club, frying pan, and turnips! Which she can apparently pull out of her...'''

Wiz: She also wields Perry the Parasol, an umbrella capable of powerful strikes and magical properties.

'''Boomstick: Oh, And one of her most valuable weapons is her ass! She can hit someone with that thing so hard that something down there explodes.'''

Wiz: Peach also weildss a form of magic called Heart Power. With it, she can float in midair for an indefinite period of time, cast healing spells, and summon lambs from the sky to put her foes to sleep.

Boomstick: Don't pet that sheep, or you might wake up in a stranger's van.

Wiz: And ever since being touched by the Vibe Scepter, she can channel her emotions into raw mystic power. When she rages, she becomes invulnerable but slows tremendously.

'''Boomstick: Hold up! Touched by the what now???!!!'''

Wiz: The Vibe Scepter.

Boomstick: AHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!

Wiz: Oh.... ahem. But Peach's magic reaches its climax with-

Boomstick: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

Wiz: ...with her mega strike technique, Empress Peach, a kick so powerful, it splits a soccer ball into 3 separate ones, delivering enough force to score 3 times.

Boomstick: HAHAHA STOP, STOP!

Wiz: Peach's Heart Power also naturally dispels evil magics, which is the actual reason why Bowser always kidnaps her.

'''Boomstick: Really? I thought it was because of... well...'''

Wiz: Peach has assisted Mario in battles several times, once even saving him from Bowser on her own; even so, she still needs rescuing on a daily basis, and her gratitude usually only goes as far as a kiss and a cake.

'''Boomstick: What's with all these princesses not puttin' out? Give it up already!'''

Peach: Listen everybody! Let's bake a delicious cake...for Mario.

Battle
Peach gently lands with her umbrella onto a wooden bridge in the Mushroom Kingdom as Zelda teleports in front of her.

FIGHT!

Peach pulls two turnips out from the bridge and throws them towards Zelda, who deflects them back at her with Nayru's Love, causing them to hit Peach. She then begins crying and runs towards Zelda, who begins slipping due to Peach's tears leaving a trail of water on the ground, then Peach jumps back and uses Peach Bomber, knocking Zelda back. Zelda then teleports behind Peach and kicks her into the air, then casts Din's Fire multiple times, knocking her further into the air. Zelda then teleports by Peach, kicking her multiple times, before kicking her downwards toward the ground. Zelda then teleports back onto the bridge and uses a charged strike, knocking Peach further back, who shouts.

Peach then gets up and uses Heart Power to summon a Sleepy Time Sheep, which appears in front of her, flies upward into the air, then downward towards Zelda. Zelda uses Nayru's Love once again to deflect the sheep back at Peach, who then knocks it back into the air with a swing of her umbrella. Zelda then teleports in front of Peach and slaps her, to which Peach slaps Zelda back. The two then trade slaps until Peach brings out a frying pan and hits Zelda with it, bouncing her back twice. Zelda gets up and prepares her bow and light arrow and Peach goes into a rage, walking slowly towards Zelda while surrounded by fire. Zelda then fires the light arrow at Peach, which cancels out Peach's vibe power, then causes the wooden bridge to shatter into tiny pieces.

Both Peach and Zelda begin falling, with Peach's fall controlled with the umbrella. Zelda teleports above her and begins firing Din's Fire multiple times while repeatedly teleporting, most of which miss, but one strikes Peach when she attempts deflecting it with her frying pan. Zelda then teleports in front of Peach, which Peach anticipates, and she begins striking Zelda with her umbrella and slaps, ending with her swinging her umbrella, knocking Zelda upward as Peach lands gracefully to the ground. Peach then uses Heart Power, regenerating her four hearts. Zelda heals herself as well, regenerating her twelve hearts, then begins casting Din's Fire once again, which Peach counters by throwing turnips. Meanwhile, the Sleepy Time Sheep, which had been knocked into the air by Peach earlier, has now begun falling back down at increasing speeds as Peach and Zelda continue throwing their projectiles. Eventually, the sheep finally lands on Zelda, putting her to sleep while standing before disappearing.

Peach: Alright!

Peach then makes a huge leap backward, gains her Empress Peach wings, then flies toward Zelda and delivers the Mega Strike to her head. This causes Zelda's head to explode bloodily, as she cries out. Peach then lands, with her opponent decapitated.

Peach: Did I win?

K.O.!

Results
Boomstick: GOAL!!!

Wiz: Zelda's offensive arsenal is relatively limited and predictable compared to Peach's quirky repretorre.

Boomstick: And while most of Peach's attacks aren't fatal, the mega strike, Empress Peach, gave her a leg up.

Wiz: See, a soccer ball is typically a kept add up to 12 psi, but since Peach's mega strike creates 2 more, it has enough force to add up to 24 lbs. per square inch, or about 165,000 newtons per square meter, as of 1,000 newtons of can cause decapitation and 15 psi can shatter the human skull, the mega strike is so over excessive it didn't just kill Zelda, it obliterated her.

Boomstick: She got kicked in the face really hard and it went boom.

Wiz: Yeah, in layman's terms, I guess...

Boomstick: Peach sure fleeced Zelda in this fight.

Wiz: The Winner is Princess Peach.

Trivia

 * This is the fifth Death Battle episode in which 2 or more characters from their respective company of any sort to be pitted against each other, the first 4 being Goomba vs Koopa Troopa, Haggar vs. Zangief, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale, and Starscream vs Rainbow Dash; and the last one going to the Pokemon Battle Royale.


 * This is the second Death Battle episode in which 2 or more characters from their respective company (Nintendo) to be pitted against each other, the first was Goomba vs Koopa Troopa, and the last one going to the Pokemon Battle Royale.
 * This is also the second Death Battle episode to have 2 characters from the Super Smash Bros. series to be pitted against each other; the first was Mario vs Sonic.


 * This is the fourth Death Battle episode to have 2 female combatants to be pitted against each other, the first 3 were Rogue vs Wonder Woman, Felicia vs Taokaka, and Chun-Li vs Mai Shiranui; and the fifth one was Ivy vs. Orchid.
 * Publicly, this is the first Death Battle episode to have the most fanboys raging that the popular character (like Princess Zelda) lost to the underdog (like Princess Peach), the other five were Link vs Cloud Strife, Batman vs Spider-Man, Goku vs Superman, Luigi vs Tails, and the Pokemon Battle Royale.