Hercule Satan VS Dan Hibiki

Hercule Satan VS Dan Hibiki is the 53rd episode of Death Battle. This Death Battle was sponsored by Dollar Shave Club and stars the two joke characters of fighting tournaments: Hercule Satan from Dragon Ball Z and Dan Hibiki from Street Fighter, voiced respectively by Alejandro Saab and Brad Venable.

Screwattack & Youtube
''They're the greatest fighters in the history of the world! ... Or so they say. Which of these wimpy warriors will walk away the winner?''

Interlude
(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)

Wiz: "A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Not thinking, yet not dreaming. Ready for whatever may come." - Bruce Lee

Boomstick: But some fighters are dumb enough to ignore the legendary Bruce Lee's words, like Hercule Satan, the World Martial Arts Champion.

Wiz: And Dan Hibiki, the Saikyo Street Fighter.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick...

Wiz: And its our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win a Death Battle.

Hercule Satan
(*Cues: A Hero's Desperation - Dragon Ball Z: Budokai*)

Wiz: The Earth was in danger, the future of mankind threatened by a monster named Cell. All would be lost unless a hero could best him in the ring of champions.

Boomstick: The hope of the world lay on the shoulders, and afro, of one man, Hercule Satan.

* Cell slaps him so hard Hercule flies into a mountain side*

'''Boomstick: Yeah... we're screwed.'''

(*Cues: DBZ - Ano Yo De Faito*)

Wiz: Officially, Mr. Satan is the World Martial Arts Champion and chosen savior of humanity... or so he would have you believe.

'''Boomstick: Hey if I could lie that well I'd make everybody think I'm king of the world too, or even.. God. Muhahahaha.'''

Wiz: But before he was the "Hero of the People", Mr. Satan went by... Mark. Eager to learn, Mark sought to master the art of combat.

Boomstick: Young Mark honed his skills in the Dojo, Satan Castle, which sounds awesome, but sadly, no, he was not actually trained by the Devil, I looked it up.

Wiz: Turns out, he was naturally gifted in martial arts, mostly due to his, strangely good luck.

Boomstick: Yeah, like when he won his first World Championship, after his rival got food poisoning, (in a sarcastic tone) that's not suspicious at all.

Wiz: Victory in hand, Mark took the stage name Mr. Satan in honor of his Dojo, and to sound better for the cameras. His victories and explosive personality quickly rocketed him to a life of wealth, fame and luxury.

(*Cues: Completely Outnumbered - DBZ Resurrection F*)

'''Boomstick: ...Which almost came to an end when he and his master got drunk and made fun of some random guy's pony tail. Turns out this random guy just so happened to be a superpowered immortal mercenary, who then murdered his master. Remember kids, sticks and stones may break your bones, but words should never be used against a tree surfing murderer.'''

Wiz: From that day forward, Mr. Satan swore he would never fight anyone whose identity was a secret or who seemed out of his league.

'''Boomstick: Seemed to forget about that when Cell showed up. Anyway somewhere along the line, Mr. Satan married a lady named Miguel, and after a round or two in the ovarian ring, had a daughter. Oh and then his wife died.'''

Wiz: Wow, come on Boomstick, show some tact. *coughs* Despite his grief, Mr. Satan never let his loss interrupt his... lifestyle.

(*Cues: DBZ - Mr. Satan Theme*)

'''Boomstick: He filled the hole in his life the only way he knew how. With more martial arts! He mastered techniques like his dynamite kick and his megaton punch, which sounds like they would make you explode or something epic like that...'''

Wiz:..but they're actually just regular kicks and punches. He really only named them so he could scream awesome words while fighting. Hey this is anime after all!

Boomstick: I feel more than a little underwhelmed by this guy right now.

Wiz: Well Mr. Satan's techniques were enough for him to legitimately win the 24th world martial arts tournament becoming the champion of the world and the chosen savior to battle Cell. But we already know how that went.

(The clip of Cell bitch slapping Hercule shows up again)

'''Boomstick: Heh, I could watch that over and over. In fact...'''

(The clip plays six times at once)

Boomstick: Heh heh heh, get away from me bitch.

(*Cues: DBZ - Saika!! Tenka-Ichi Budokai*)

Wiz: Mr. Satan actively avoids fighting people who clearly outclass him, mostly to save his own reputation.

'''Boomstick: The first time he saw people flying and shooting beams out of their hands, he thought it was a bunch of cheap tricks and pyrotechnics. Even after seeing the most epic Kamehameha beam struggle of all time, he still denied everything.'''

''Hercule: It's a trick! It's all a trick I swear! Someday I'll bring it all to light! I will!''

Caroni: I can't believe that you're still saying that!

'''Boomstick: But just in case he finds himself in over his head, Mr. Satan is packing an assortment of capsules containing jetpacks, disguised explosives and even missle launchers. Man if those existed in real life, it'd be a TSA nightmare.'''

Wiz: If there's anything he's good at, it's public performance. He often weasels his way out of dangerous scenarios with lame excuses like faking stomachaches and somehow the entire world buys his crap every single time.

''Hercule: I did it! For years I've been trying to perfect a variation of the megaton punch that uses latent energy that causes a delayed reaction to catch my opponent off guard!''

The crowd cheers except for the Z-Warriors and their families.

'''Boomstick: When in doubt, work the crowd. I love all of you!'''

Wiz: Who are you talking to?

'''Boomstick: Every. single. one of you. Like and subscribe!'''

(*Cues:  DBZ - Mr. Satan Themeagain*)

Wiz: Mr. Satan is a master of deception, an excellent actor, and a complete fraud. Still he is strong enough to rip three phone books in half and pull four buses by himself, and once he actually moved faster than the untrained eye can see, but forgot bullets move fast too.

Boomstick: Well if I have to say something nice about the guy, at least he's not Yamcha.

Wiz: Mr. Satan has won the Martial Arts Tournament of Worlds 26 times, although only one of them was legitimate.

Boomstick: Yeah the other times he rigged it and had Mr. Buu kick everyone's ass and then lose to him on purpose.

Wiz: Still it's pretty impressive that he managed to befriend one of the most dangerous and untamed monsters in the Dragon Ball universe.

'''Boomstick: Oh and one time he convinced the whole world's population to stick their hands in the air and then wave them around like they just don't care.. but whatever.'''

Wiz: Boomstick, that saved the world!

Boomstick: Meh.

Wiz: Mr. Satan is motivated by three things: Money, fame, and his daughter, who he seems to prize above all else.

'''Boomstick: He may be a bit of a con artist, but no matter what he's up against, Mr. Satan finds a way to rise above his fears through his own bravery. Wait did I just say bravery? I meant thickheadedness and straight up stupidity.'''

Mr. Satan is then seen trying to jump high off a cliff, but falls down and injures himself.

''Hercule: Ow! The pain! Ow. Ugh.''

Dan Hibiki
(*Cues: Street Fighter IV - Dan Theme*)

Wiz: Conceptualized in retaliation of SNK's blatant ripoff of Capcom's characters, Dan Hibiki was always meant to be a complete joke.

Boomstick: Dan had no natural talent in fighting people, but his father Go Hibiki was a martial arts master with his own dojo.

Wiz: One day, Go's dojo was visited by Sagat, an enforcer of the crime syndicate, Shadaloo. As an advocate of justice, Go refused to be intimidated by the crime lord and stood up to him the only way he knew how.

'''Boomstick: By kicking his fricking eye out! Then Sagat brutally beat him to death in front of his own son. That should teach you to mess with a 7'4" Muay Thai monster.'''

Wiz: It didn't. Enraged and distraught, Dan swore he would avenge his father's death. To do so he sought out a legendary dojo hidden in the wilderness of Japan.

Boomstick: This thing is more elusive than child support to my ex!

(*Cues: Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist - Lake Run*)

Ryu: Seems like the more time we spend here, more questions arise.

Ken: Yeah, like who the hell is Dan?

Wiz: Against all odds, Dan found it. He was trained by its master Gouken, the same mentor who taught Ryu and Ken such legendary techniques such as the Hadouken and the Shoryuken. Dan began the difficult journey of mastering the use of ki as a weapon of justice.

'''Boomstick: ...Until Gouken expelled him because he just... just sucked!'''

Wiz: Well technically it was because Gouken didn't want his training only used for revenge, but, let's face it, he knew he was wasting his time.

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

Boomstick: However, Dan's determination for vengeance continued, he took the little he had learned from Gouken and ironically combined it with some Muay Thai.

Wiz: This became his very own martial art, the Saikyo-ryu fighting style.

(*Cues: Street Fighter Alpha 2 - Dan Theme*)

Boomstick: Unfortunately while that sounds awesome, it didn't really work out...

Wiz: Dan's fighting style is well... it sucks! It's awful! There's absolutely nothing redeemable about it! I mean he can use special moves like the Koryuken and the Dankukyaku...

'''Boomstick: Which are like the dollar store versions of awesome stuff like the Shoryuken and the Tatsuma... whatever it's called.'''

Wiz: Also, Dankukyaku? Did he seriously name one of his moves after himself?

'''Boomstick: Yeah he's pretty full of himself! Which is why the Saikyo's style's strongest technique is his excessive taunting. He can taunt while jumping, somehow increasing his air time, and somehow by focusing all his energy at once, Dan can perform a taunt so fearsome it will shock and amaze all who witness it just by being the most worthless thing they've ever seen. This is the legendary taunt:'''

''Dan: Here I come! Hoyah! What's the problem? Don't underestimate me. I'm awesome! Woohoo! Piece of cake! (Constantly does rolls until he lands to do an awkward thumbs up pose).''

Wiz: Now Dan can manifest his ki into a fireball projectile called the Gadouken. In a way the Gadouken is symbolic of Dan himself.

Boomstick: Yeah, it's tiny, pathetic, and doesn't last very long.

(*Cues: Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist - Three Days, Three Nights*)

Wiz: Despite this, Dan tracked down his father's killer, and offered to make his left eye match his right. In turn Sagat politely offered to reunite father and son. The long awaited clash of fists began, a clash in which Dan was bent on retribution.

'''Boomstick: Buuut... oh shit he won!?'''

(*Cues: Street Fighter Alpha 3 - Theme of Dan*)

Wiz: Yes, Dan finally found the recompense he had sought for so long and trained his entire life for, because Sagat threw the fight in pity. Completely unaware of his luck and now confident he was one of the strongest in the world, Dan founded his own dojo to unfortunately teach people his worthless martial art...

Boomstick: Thanks Sagat, not only have you killed this man's father but now you're ruining other kids' lives now too.

Wiz: You'll be happy to know that not many students actually enrolled in his class, because he did not pay his phone bill and did not include his address in his commercial.

'''Boomstick: Hehe, classic Dan. By the way, what's up with the pink gi?'''

Wiz: Well it was originally white, but then he accidentally washed it with color.

Boomstick: Jesus Christ...

Wiz: Ok ok making fun of Dan is fun and all but let's be honest he's not a complete pushover. He can take down multiple thugs at once and endured a beating from Ryu and Ken simultaneously. No matter how many times he falls, Dan will always get right back up.

(*Cues: Street Fighter: Assassin's Fist - Akuma Rises*)

'''Boomstick: And remember how Gouken rejected him because of his thirst for vengeance? That's because Dan can actually tap into the Satsui no Hado! The same evil energy that transformed Gouken's brother Akuma into an island smashing murderer.'''

Wiz: We're not joking here. Once Dan did access his Satsui no Hado to use the dreaded Raging Demon. A move which obliterates the victim's soul.

'''Boomstick: Damn! If Dan could do it then I could do it! All right, watch out Wiz here it comes! Argh (falls over)! Ah shit! Fell on my keys!'''

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

Wiz: But more often than not Dan's a klutz whose overconfident taunting gets him into trouble. He is his own worst enemy.

'''Boomstick: (Breathing heavily) But even after crying like a baby from stubbing his toe, Dan doesn't let any of it keep him down for long. After all, who else will carry on the heroic legacy of Go Hibiki?'''

''Dan: Koryuken! (Gets KO'd by Blanka) Father!!!''

Death Battle
(*Cues: DBZ - Wrestling Rock*)

In the stadium of the World Martial Arts tournament, the crowd is cheering as the announcer gets on the mic.

Announcer: For our next round, our beloved savior of mankind, Hercule Satan!

Hercule enters the ring and throws his robe off. He then proceeds to hold up his champion belt and listen to the crowd cheer.

Hercule: Yeah!

Announcer: And the challenger, the infamous creator of the Saikyo arts, Dan Hibiki!

''Dan: Woohoo! Here I cooome!''

Dan runs into the ring and trips on the ground. He gets up and shakes himself off. The crowd goes silent with only one guy going "Woo. Yay. Dan."

''Hercule: Ha ha! Nice moves, Hibachi! How bout you ring yourself out?''

''Dan: You wish, chump! I hope you're ready for a beating!''

FIGHT!

(*Cues: Super Mario 3D World - Pom Pom's Theme*)

Hercule and Dan rush towards each other, pathetically trading blows with each other until Hercule knocks Dan down to the ground.

''Hercule: Ha! A weakling like you stands no chance! ''

''Announcer: It looks like Mr. Satan wants to end this quickly! Which of his patented finishing moves will he use? ''

Hercule: Dynamite Kick!

Hercule lunges forward with a kick.

Dan: Oh my god!

Dan quickly ducks in fear causing Hercule to miss him, landing on his back.

''Announcer: What's this? He's avoided the champion's most devastating attack! ''

''Hercule: Uhh... Ha! I psyched him out! He'll be too terrified to throw a single punch!''

But just as he Hercule finished taunting Dan throws out a series of punches and kicks knocking him to the ground. Dan then precedes to leap over to the other side of Hercule and performs his Legendary Taunt.

''Dan: Woohoo! Behold the glory of Saikyo! Heya! Hoy! Hiya! Woya! Hiya! Woya! Ai!''

Dan ends with his signature thumbs up as Hercule's jaw drops.

''Hercule: Woah! Wow!''

''Dan: And now, behold my ultimate attack! Shinkuuuuuu......''

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

Dan starts charging up his ki, which has Hercule worrying.

Hercule: (No, no no no! Is that what I think it is? What do I do?)

Hercule is reminded of a certain Saiyan warrior when he sees Dan charging up.

Hercule: (I could dive off the arena! Say I slipped off due to my sheer muscle mass. He he. Yeah!)

Dan continues charging up.

Hercule: (Holy crap how long is this gonna take?)

Dan: Gadouken!

The small fireball goes a few feet then evaporates with a farting noise. Cricket cherps start playing.

(*Cues:  DBZ - Mr. Satan Theme*)

''Hercule: Uh.. yeah! Ha ha! I've done it! After years of training and grueling exercise, this pathetic phony's cheap tricks won't work on me! Ha!''

The crowd goes wild.

''Announcer: Astounding! Who knew the secret to countering such an attack was to act like a coward?''

''Hercule: Yeah! Wait what?''

Dan runs over to Hercule and tosses him over his shoulder, which causes Hercule's capsules to pop out revealing various weapons.

''Announcer: What's this? Is it just me or has Mr. Satan illegally smuggled weapons into the arena? ''

''Hercule: (Oh crap! My backup plans! I can't go out like this!) Uh.. what? I've never seen these before. Obviously my challenger snuck them into my robe to get me disqualified! Can't even face me like a man!''

Dan: Oh sweet, a jet pack!

Hercule: What?

Dan puts on the jetpack he had found.

''Dan: Time for the next evolution of my martial art! Ultimate rocket booster Saikyo of doom!''

The jetpack starts up but seemingly doesn't go off.

''Dan: Well that's disappointing... ARGH!''

(*Cues: Rabbids Go Home - Bãtutã Din Moldova*)

The jetpack goes off sending Dan spinning out of control in the air, screaming.

Hercule: (Only one more capsule left, but I don't remember what's in it!)

Dan then starts flying fast around Hercule.

Hercule: (Gotta think of something fast! This guy's good, I can't track his movements!)

Dan grabs Hercule and they proceed to punch each while flying erratically around the arena whlie bumping into Herucle's other capsules which reveals other random items such as a torpedo, a pirate ship, a shotgun, a Bom-omb, Rush, etc.

''Announcer: What the heck- I mean what a spectacle! What could the champion be planning?''

Dan throws Hercule to the ground and starts gaining control over the jet pack.

''Dan: Oh yeah! I got this!''

The jet pack then starts coughing up smoke and then flies off of Dan's back.

Dan: Ah crap.

Dan then falls to the ground in a cartoon fashion. He then gets up.

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

''Announcer: I can't believe it folks, the match is still on! And Mr. Satan's limitless tenacity has worn down the challenger. ''

''Hercule: Ah ha! Yes that's right. I tired him out. Me! Mr. Satan. That was my plan all along!''

The crowd starts cheering. Dan falls to his knees and begins to cry.

''Dan: What am I doing? I can't lose to this joker! I have to win! FOR MY FATHER!''

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

Dan then taps in to the Satsui no Hado and charges forward with a Raging Demon.

Dan: DIEEEE!

However he trips on the jet pack and trips into Hercule, which sends Hercule's capsule flying in the air.

Dan: Aw man!

Hercule then picks up Dan off the ground.

(*Cues: Resurrection "F" - Our Hero, Son Goku*)

Hercule: Watch closely, you're about to witness the real deal!

Hercule then starts laying devastating attacks on Dan. Hercule then holds him up as he is about to finish Dan off.

Announcer: It looks like this is the end!

''Hercule: Yeah ha ha ha! This is over!''

The capsule then falls down and Dan accidentally swallows it. They hear it go off in his stomach and both are frightened.

Dan: Aw ma-

(*Cues: Unknown Can-Can Theme*)

Dan then explodes as the capsule was revealed to contain a jukebox which starts playing the can-can.

''Announcer: Woah! I've never seen anything like that! He punched him so hard he turned him into a jukebox! It can only be the champ's new technique, the Karaoke Punch! ''

Hercule: (Oh my god, I can't believe that happened! I need to change my pants.) 

Announcer: (*inaudible dialogue*) ...champion, Hercule Satan!

KO!

The crowd goes wild as Hercule celebrates on the jukebox while Dan meets his disappointed father who rolls his eyes at Dan in heaven and starts crying.

Results
(*Cues: Cha-La Head-Cha-La (Instrumental) - Dragon Ball Z: Budokai*)

Boomstick: Now he can disappoint his father in the afterlife.

Wiz: Hercule Satan and Dan Hibiki may be pretty pathetic in context, but keep in mind, before the Cell saga, Mr. Satan was a legitimate world champion.

Boomstick: Unlike Dan who has only one confirmed win out of his name and it was handed to him out of pity.

Wiz: And Mr. Satan has proven time and time again that he is stronger than the average athletic man.

'''Boomstick: He once pulled four tour buses which is nearly 60 tons, and then he punched through one of them! That's a sheet of steel right there! Dan struggles to throw a single guy over his shoulder.'''

Wiz: Mr. Satan once broke through a tower of 19 tiles with a single chop and is the only character in Dragon Ball history to have fought both Cell and Majin Buu... and not die.

Boomstick: Think about that.

Wiz: Dan's ki attacks were his ace in the hole, but in true Hibiki fashion, it amounts to nothing but failure. Just like the time he pulled off the Raging Demon, only to be stopped by a high school girl's backpack.

Boomstick: The ki (key) to Dan's failure came from within.

Wiz: The winner is Hercule Satan.

Trivia

 * The connection between Hercule Satan and Dan Hibiki is that both are pathetically weak martial artists with huge egos and live in worlds where they are severely outclassed by various other fighters.
 * The initial upload of this episode did not include an advertisement, and proceeded into the battle as normal, with the exception of Boomstick snidely remarking "...Let's watch two idiots fight." following his opening yell.
 * This is the third episode to be taken down after release due to errors. The last two were Beast VS Goliath and Solid Snake VS Sam Fisher.
 * This is the first fight where the winning combatant unintentionally kills the losing combatant and is followed by Flash VS Quicksilver.
 * This is the first fight that was a One Minute Melee before becoming a Death Battle.
 * This is also the second battle overall to be both a Death Battle and a One Minute Melee, after Deadpool VS Deathstroke with the third being Green Arrow VS Hawkeye, followed by Vegeta VS Shadow.
 * This is also the first Death Battle where both Death Battle and One Minute Melee ended with the same result (Hercule beating Dan). The next was Vegeta VS Shadow.
 * Easter Eggs present:
 * Goku briefly appears when Dan charges up the Gadouken, as Dan's ki attack reminded Mr. Satan of him.
 * Some of the weapons in Mr. Satan's capsules are from other franchises, such as the Bob-Omb from Mario, Rush from Mega Man or the Scissor Blade from Kill la Kill.
 * The announcer was voiced by "Nervous" Nick Cramer, a Screwattack employee who's also contributed to a number of Death Battle episodes.
 * Dan's deceased father, Go Hibiki, makes a cameo at the end rolling his eyes at his son and walking away.
 * This is arguably the first episode to use joke characters.
 * Mr. Satan's victory snapped a three match losing streak for the DragonBall franchise and a four match losing streak for Shonen Jump as a whole, being the first victory since Vegeta VS Shadow over four years prior.