Donkey Kong VS Knuckles

Donkey Kong VS Knuckles is the upcoming 51st episode of Death Battle, featuring Donkey Kong from the Super Mario Bros/Donkey Kong franchises and Knuckles the Echidna from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise.

Donkey Kong
Wiz: Now this is the law of the jungle. As old and as true as the sky, the ones that shall keep and make prosper...

'''Boomstick: But the ones who touch DONKEY KONG'S BANANA HORD MUST DIE! See? I know literature. Well, the parts about killing anyway.'''

Wiz: Long ago, an illegal pet gorilla famously did battle with his abusive owner atop a construction site. That ape's name was Donkey Kong. After escaping, he fled to a remote island with his son, also named [http://www.mariowiki.com/Donkey_Kong_Jr. Donkey Kong]. His son would later bear a child destined to rule the island. This powerful ape was named... you guessed it, Donkey Kong...

(cue The Map Page/Bonus Level - Super Smash Brothers Brawl)

Boomstick: Being a gorilla, Donkey Kong naturally LOVES bananas.

Wiz: No no no. Real gorillas primarily eat plants, like stems and bamboo shoots, and sometimes termites to fight diarrhea.

'''Boomstick: Too much info, Wiz. Well, this gorilla loves bananas so much that he's hoarded hundreds for himself. And if someone tries to take any of his delicious golden treasures, may God help them.'''

Wiz: And yet, his enemies have been bold enough to steal his entire stockpile several times. Right out from under his nose. That's what happens when you hog every banana on the island to yourself, just basic supply and demand.

'''Boomstick: DK weighs 800 pounds and stands about 8 feet tall. That's almost twice as big as a normal gorilla. He spends his afternoons as if he were a Florida native by finding ways to kill crocodiles. I mean, he's crushed 'em with his sheer weight, chucked barrels at 'em like his old man, and just straight up punched 'em to death.'''

(cue Irate Eight (Chase) - Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze)

Wiz: The strength this ape wields is so tremendous, his very palms can shake the earth. And his trademark Giant Punch can send his victims flying beyond the horizon.

'''Boomstick: But just because he's strong doesn't mean he's slow. He can unleash a flurry of blows so fast, he ignites the hydrogen in the air, creating explosions!'''

Wiz: This is similar to a meteor catching fire while falling through the atmosphere... at 25,000 miles per hour.

'''Boomstick: I'm telling you, Wiz. It's only a matter of time before the apes take over.'''

(Cues The DK Rap - Donkey Kong 64)

Wiz: While common gorillas have impressed the scientific community by using basic tools, Donkey Kong is a little beyond that.

'''Boomstick: Yeah! He's got a shotgun! I know, it looks like he's just carrying around a log, but seriously, it's a goddamn shotgun that Funky Kong somehow fashioned out of a tree. Oh, and it fires concussive homing coconuts! It can fire in spurts and if he shoots ya, it's gonna hurt. At least, that's what the DK Rap tells us.'''

Knuckles the Echidna
(cue: Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric Main Theme)

Wiz: 4000 years ago, the echidna race thrived due to their advanced technology and talent for warfare.

Boomstick: Now that's what I call a pet, I know what I am picking up at the pet store tonight!

Wiz: The males have four heads on their penises. Just a heads up.

'''Boomstick: What.....? AWESOME!'''

Wiz: Desperate for the power to command the world, the Knuckles tribe staged a raid to obtain the legendary power of the Master Emerald.

Boomstick: What they didn't know is that it was protected by a giant, murderous water dragon with tentacles named Chaos, and it killed the shit out of them.

Wiz: Miraculously, a young echidna girl managed to seal Chaos inside the Master Emerald. The resulting energy output ripped the echidnas' home into the sky to become Angel Island, perpetually floating so long as the emerald remained in it's shrine. Sonic lore everybody...

'''Boomstick: Centuries later one final descendant of the Knuckles clan remained and his name was.... Knuckles.'''

(cue: Unknown from M.E.)

'''Boomstick: So not the most creative parenting in the world but hey, Knuckles is the lone guardian of the Master Emerald, dedicating his entire life to protecting the family jewel. Ha! But he spends most of his days sleeping and doing nothing, because really who's gonna fly up all the way to a tiny, floating island to steal a rock?'''

Wiz: Why the nefarious Dr. Eggman of course. As a ploy, Eggman convinced Knuckles that a certain blue hedgehog and a fox with two tails planned to steal the Master Emerald. Knuckles left to stop the thieves, and Eggman swiped the gem for himself.

Boomstick: Not the sharpest head on the dick is he?

Wiz: Without its energy source Angel Island plummeted out of the sky, until Sonic the Hedgehog literally beat the sense into Knuckles and together, they saved the day, forming a tense bromance.

Rouge: Sounds like you've got an inferiority complex.

''Knuckles: Huh? I have a what?''

''Rouge: Oh, nothing. Nevermind Knuckles...''

'''Boomstick: Since then Knux has continued to try to guard the emerald. However most people who try to steal it... do. But luckily for ol' rad red he can track the Master Emerald using his treasure hunting skills.'''

Wiz: And his special bond with the gem, which allows him to detect its presence and harness some of its power. Which he can focus through the ancient martial art passed down through the Knuckles clan.

'''Boomstick: Ah yes, the ancient art of punch the crap out of everything! No, really. That's the answer to every single problem Knuckles has. Something in the way? Punch it! Need to climb a cliff? Punch it! Falling down a trap? Punch it! Punching not working for some reason? Well then, punch it more!'''

(cue: Knuckles theme- Sonic and Knuckles)

Wiz: Speaking of which, Knuckles can throw punches so extreme they create explosions by igniting hydrogen in the air.

Boomstick: Sounds familiar...

Wiz: Knuckles is fast, capable of running at least 100 miles per hour. He can also take to the sky and glide. Reportedly by trapping air underneath his dreadlocks, though there's no logical way those locks are aerodynamic enough to keep him airborne.

'''Boomstick: Hey it's better than a tanooki flying with it's nutsack. Then again he could just be twirling his di-'''

Trivia

 * This is the ninth time in the series that a Death Battle episode features one opponent (in this case, Knuckles the Echidna) and then leaves the public to guess who the mysterious opponent is (In this case, Donkey Kong) the first nine were Luke Skywalker VS Harry Potter, Master Chief VS Doomguy, Link VS Cloud Strife, Batman VS Spiderman, Fulgore VS Sektor, Godzilla VS Gamera, Solid Snake VS Sam Fisher and Darth Vader VS Doctor Doom.
 * This is the fourteenth Death Battle where the opponents are rivals. The last twelve were Haggar VS Zangief, Zitz VS Leonardo, Mario VS Sonic, Chun-Li VS Mai Shiranui, Link VS Cloud, Goku VS Superman, Terminator VS RoboCop, Luigi VS Tails, Godzilla VS Gamera, Ryu VS Scorpion, Deadpool VS Deathstroke, Ragna VS Sol Badguy and Solid Snake VS Sam Fisher.
 * This does not include Goku VS Superman 2 since that was a rematch between Goku and Superman.
 * Donkey Kong VS Knuckles is the third Super Mario vs Sonic the Hedgehog (And also the third Nintendo vs Sega) themed battle. The first two were Mario VS Sonic and Luigi VS Tails.
 * Boomstick talking about apes taking over during Donkey Kong's analysis would likely be a reference to Planet of the Apes.