Batman VS Spider-Man

This is the 23rd Death Battle released. This is pitting the Dark Knight Batman and the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. This episode is sponsored by Audible.com

Interlude
Wiz: They're the guardians of the night. The superhero saviors of the lone and helpless.

Boomstick: Bruce Wayne, the Batman.

Wiz: And Peter Parker, the Spider-Man.

Boomstick: Given time, both Batman and Spider-Man can defeat pretty much everything.

Wiz: Which is why we're piting them each other only with their standard equipment; gladiator style.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle.

Batman
Wiz: The Dark Knight is a master of the shadows, using intimidation as a weapon, he patrols the streets of Gotham.

Boomstick: You know you're doin' something right when people are terrirfied at JUST your shadow.

Wiz: After his parents were murdered by the common thug, Bruce Wayne dedicated his life to fighting criminal underworld. He achieved 12 master degrees, studied 127 martial arts, and perfected escape artistry. Given enough time, he can escaped any conceivable trap.

Boomstick: Batman pushed himself to the limits of the human body: He can bench press 1,000 pounds and has great aim and reflexes.

Wiz: The Batsuit was designed to be the ultimate flexible, combat armour.

Boomstick: While the pointy ears are a bit much for me, the armour can stop knives and gunfire.

Wiz: His memory cloth cape can be used as a glider and the entire suit is lined with a 200,000 volt electro network.

Boomstick: I guess when you're a billionare, you can afford to turn yourself in a freakin' human taser.

Wiz: The gadgets from Wayne's neverending funds don't stop there! His utility belt carries DOZENS of different tools that can get him out of practically get him out of any situation.

'''Boomstick: That belt has pretty much EVERYTHING. Grappling hooks, explosives, beer. Maybe not that last one, but mine would.'''

Wiz: Notable gadgets include a gasmask, tear gas, smoke pellets, a kryptonite ring, remote detonated plastic explosives, and his trademark grapple gun. He also carries a large supply of collapsible shurikens:

'''Boomstick: The batarangs! And if throwing razor sharp objects at people isn't enough, he's got several types! Like, the electric shock, knock out dart, and grenade.'''

Wiz: Despite having the build of an olympic athlete, the caped crusader's greatest feat are attributed to his detective skills. He can anticipate attacks through muscle movement and can memorize the smallest detail, even the shape Achiki's punch. And while Batman is only human, his achievement stand among gods.

'''Boomstick: He's a founding member of the team of superheroes known as the Justice League. And he's even fought Superman!'''

Wiz: But while Wayne has no exploitable weaknesses, he is not perfect. His mental stability has often been called into question.

'''Boomstick: Well, let's see. His parents were killed in front of him as a child, he uses his money to beat the shit out of people dressed as a giant bat, and keeps employing 12 year old sidekicks. Yeah, he's clearly not all there.'''

Wiz: But he IS a surviour. He endured being broken in half, fighting the other members of the Justice Leauge, complete disintegration, and being stranded in the past as a living timebomb of galactic destruction.

Boomstick: Wait, WHAT?!

Wiz: Yet he somehow pulled through everytime.

'''Boomstick: Why? 'Cause he's the goddamn BATMAN.'''

Thug: WHERE ARE YOU?!

Batman: Here.

Spiderman
Wiz: The friendly neighborhood Spiderman protects the streets of New York City.

'''Boomstick: Once Peter Parker was a wimpy nerd with no friends. Then he was bit by a radioactive spider that gave him weird bug powers, and now he's a radioactive superhero....with no friends. But after some practice and superheroing, he finally got himself laid. A lot, actually.'''

Wiz: A clever photographer and science major, Spiderman is not only incredibly powerful, but also a genius in strategy and science. Using these skills, he created two wrist mounted webshooters which let him swing around the city.

Boomstick: You know, if he was SO smart, wouldn't he make the webs shoot out of his butt like a real spider?

Wiz: NO, NO. First of all, it doesn't come out of their butt, it comes out of their-

'''Boomstick: [to the tune of the Spiderman song]  ♪ Spiderman! Spiderman! Craps some webs like a spider can! ♪'''

Wiz: [rough] Each web shooter cartridge can hold a large amount of pressurized web fluid-

'''Boomstick: AND SO CAN HIS GIRLFRIENDS! Haha! I'll be here all week.'''

Wiz: [annoyed] .....and features a rotating carousal to replace the empty ones.

'''Boomstick: His spider powers give him superhuman strength, speed, agility and durability. He can run up to 200 MPH, lift over 10 tons, and take a freakin' grenade to the FACE!'''

Wiz: He can also knock out a dinosaur out cold with a single punch.

Boomstick: Haha, suck it, Denver!

Wiz: Also, by altering his body's electron attractions, Spiderman can crawl along any surface. But his most advantageous power is the Spider-Sense.

Boomstick: It acts kinda like a warning signal, like caller ID when your ex-wife's calling for alamony.

Wiz: Actually, the spider-sense is much more than a simple alarm. It gives Peter omniprescent detection to his surroundings. This is why he swings around New York without looking where he shoots his webs. And unlike his human senses, it is not affected by gases or toxins unless specifically tailored to the Spider-Sense itself. However, it's up to Spiderman to recognize and react to his warning, so it can be tricked if he doesn't think he's in danger.

'''Boomstick: Still, compared with his speed, Spiderman is almost untouchable. He can even dodge automatic fire.'''

Wiz: His unique martial art, The Way of the Spider, utilizes the spider-sense to its fullest. Spiderman can go toe-to-toe with the most advanced masters of combat, even while blindfolded.

'''Boomstick: No wonder other superheroes don't like this guy. I mean, the freaking spider-sense does everything for him!'''

Wiz: Speaking of which, somehow, Spiderman once tried to join the Justice League, but was rejected by Batman.

'''Boomstick: Ouch. I bet he wishes he can fight old Bats in a battle to the death- OH, WAIT!'''

Wiz: For all of his amazing powers, Spiderman is not invincible. His bright and colorful costume makes stealth difficult, his durability has limits, and the oddly specific ethyl chloride pesticide is his kryponite. Also, any enemy with his speed comparable to his can outmatch his spider-sense.

Boomstick: Still, if those are only his limitations, how come he sometimes gets shot by a stray bullet?

Wiz: Lazy, lazy writing.

''Mary Jane: Wait! Who are you?''

Spiderman: You know who I am.

Mary Jane: I do?

Spiderman: Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

Transcript
Spider-Man swings onto the rooftop of a building and waits. Batman then appears by jumping out of the shadows of the exit door.

Spider-Man: "You've got a black belt in stupid if you think you're gonna beat me."

FIGHT!

Spider-Man shoots two webs, which Batman blocks. Spider-Man punches and kicks, but Batman takes him out with powerful hits. Batman throws two batarangs, which Spider-Man dodges. Batman then throws a explosive batarang at Spiderman's feet.

Spiderman: "Today's not your day-OOF!" (batarang explodes)

Batman then throws a smoke bomb, which does not affect Spider-Man. Then, Batman beats Spider-Man and throws bolas at him. Spider-Man struggles, and the bomb at this feet explode. Spiderman is thrown off the top of the building. He swings to the wall, but Batman kicks him inside using his grapple gun, and disappears. The lights go out because of a batarang. Batman begins to sneak up on Spiderman, but he senses it, and shoots a web, bringing Batman down. The two begin to fight, but eventually Spiderman web shoots Batman and slams him against the window. He was about to attack when the bats come. Spiderman then kicks Batman out the window.

They both glide through the air, but Batman slams Spiderman against a car, which not surpisingly, explodes. Batman shoots his grapple gun, which Spiderman dodges, but is shocked by Batman's 200 volt suit. Batman throws two explosive batarangs, one which Spiderman avoids, while rebounding the second, hitting Batman. Just as he recovered, he is hit by a web.

Spiderman: "Having fun yet?"

He then shoots a barrage of webs, easlily pushing Batman into a web trap. Spiderman pulls back on a web slingshot.

Spiderman: "It's all or nothing!"

He launches in kick position and separates Batman's chest and head from his limbs.

Spiderman: "Loooossserrrr!"

He lands, with Batman's body sliding after him.

Spiderman: "Sorry about that. Web Swing!"

He web swings away.

KO!

Closing
'''Boomstick: Damn that was brutal! Show it again!'''

Wiz: Despite Batman possessing more skill and knowledge, Spider-Man's abilities ultimately overpowered his arsenal.

Boomstick: To be fair, Bats might have been able to deal with Spidey's strength and speed, but that damn Spider-Sense changes everything!

Wiz: Right, the Spider-Sense counters surprise and stealth, Batman's most valuable weapons.

Wiz: But how could Batman lose to a wimpy Spider-Nerd, when he defeated the entire Justice League on his own?

Wiz: Many of Batman's greatest achievements have required weeks or months of preparation and planning, which can hardly be compared to the one-on-one confrontation of a Death Battle. Keep in mind, if we have given Batman prep time, the same would be done for Spiderman.

Boomstick: And all of Wayne's money, and the Commisioner's men, couldn't put Batman together again.

Wiz: The winner is Spiderman.

Spider-Man

 * Stronger & faster
 * Spider sense counters stealth
 * Batman's gases & drugs do not affect the spider sense
 * Way of the Spider matches any of Batman's martial arts
 * Main villain [Green Goblin] shares some similarities with Batman
 * No easily discovered exploitable weaknesses

Batman

 * Smarter & more strategic
 * Armor held up for the most part
 * Can escape any trap, but some need more time than others
 * 200,000 volts is a minimum requirement for standard tasers
 * Slow, analytical approach trumped by Spider-Man's speed & boldness

Trivia

 * When Wiz and Boomstick were talking about Batman, they both mentioned the grappling hook twice.
 * This is the third time that one opponent is revealed (in this case, Spiderman) while leaving the public to guess who the mysterious second opponent is (who is revealed to be Batman), the first two were Luke Skywalker vs Harry Potter and Master Chief vs Doomguy, and the last two were Fulgore vs Sektor and Godzilla vs Gamera.
 * This is the second Death Battle episode to have Boomstick spoofing a theme song of any kind, this time being the 60's Spiderman cartoon theme song; the first one was Felicia vs Taokaka where he spoofed the SatAM Sonic the Hedgehog theme song, the third being Shao Kahn vs M. Bison with the Captain Planet and the Planeteers theme song, and the fourth being the Pokemon Battle Royale with the first Pokemon theme song.
 * This is the second time that a Marvel hero (like Spiderman) and a DC hero (like Batman) were pitted against each other, and that a Marvel hero (like Spiderman) killed a DC hero (like Batman).  The first one was Rogue vs. Wonder Woman.
 * This is the third Death Battle episode in which a certain Disney character (like Spiderman) and a certain Warner Bros. character (like Batman) are pitted against each other, and that the Disney character (like Spiderman) defeated the Warner Bros. character (like Batman); the first two were Rogue vs. Wonder Woman and Luke Skywalker vs. Harry Potter.
 * This is a very controversial Death Battle, due to Batman's loyal fans outnumbering Spider Man's, and he is among the most popular characters in fictional history.
 * Publicly, this is the third Death Battle episode to have more fanboys raging about the popular character (like Batman) losing to the underdog (like Spiderman), the first 2 were Princess Zelda vs Princess Peach and Link vs Cloud Strife, and the last 3 being Goku vs Superman, Luigi vs Tails, and the Pokemon Battle Royale.