Zelda VS Peach

This is the 20th death battle pitting Princess Zelda of Hyrule and Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom against each other. This episode was sponsored by audiobooks

Description
''Episode 20 - Super Mario Bros. VS The Legend of Zelda! Two classic damsels in distress enter the ring! But with no heroic rescuer in sight, which princess will survive the brutal battle to the death?''

Interlude
Wiz: Today we're pitting two of the worst damsels in distress against each other.

Boomstick: If they're not getting kidnapped, they're always nagging at you to do stuff.

Wiz: Princess Zelda, of the Hyrule Kingdom...

Boomstick: ...and Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle.

Zelda
Wiz: As a descendent of the house of Hyrule, Princess Zelda has spent her entire life governing her kingdom. Despite having a king, most decisions are actually made by her.

'''Boomstick: Talk about a controlled government. And why did she get to do it? She's lost her kingdom to the forces of evil more times than I could count!'''

Wiz: Having to wait hand and foot, she has practiced with her modest arsenal.

'''Boomstick: Swords, magic, musical instruments. She also has a sword and dagger, but has little experience with them. Her weapon of choice is the bow, which she wields with deadly accuracy. She can use her magic to turn an ordinary arrow to the legendary Light Arrow, perfect for killing evil.'''

Wiz: Speaking of which, Zelda is an increadibly potent spellcaster. While most of her magic is used out of combat, she is more than capable of holding on her own. She can teleport with Farore's Wind, shield herself with Nayru's Love, and cast pyrokinetic projectiles with Din's Fire.

(music in background)

Wiz: Zelda is also the bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom, a testament to her estute mind. She can use this to repel evil. She is even skilled into creating disguises. She avoided seven years of Ganon's tyranny using the disguise of Shiek

'''Boomstick: Wait, that's a chick???!!!! But where's our...um...'''

Wiz: It SHOULD be noted however that the forms of Sheik and Tetra are no more than disguises, and abilites atributed to them would be used.

Boomstick: Yeah, but why would you want to toss tiny needles at people when you can shoot fireballs with your mind.

Wiz: Still, Zelda is a fierce competitor. She has defeated the forces of evil many times on her own. At the same time however, she constantly rely on other heroes to help her.

Boomstick: She's really good at getting you to do stuff.

Wiz: Right, she's a cunning person. She can convince a naive young hero to do the dirty work for her to gain little or no reward.

'''Boomstick: How many times does this guy have to save you? Put it up already!'''

Link: You called for a hero, princess?

Zelda: Yes, but I guess you'll have to do.

Peach
Wiz: At first glance, Princess Peach looks like your standard meek and helpless princess.

Boomstick: And that's pretty damn accurate, considering that she spends her time getting kidnapped and baking giant cakes, just like any good woman.

Wiz: Despite having a guard capable of holding of any villian, Peach gets constantly kidnapped time and time again.

'''Boomstick: And somehow, while behind bars, she can send mail to Mario through outer space with extra lives and other stuff! Hey lady, next time send yourself!'''

Wiz: Peach has built an athletic body. She has participated through a number of sports, games, and kart racing. She has also survived through every Mario Party. And as we've said before, Mario Party is no walk through the park.

'''Boomstick: Her weapons consist of a tennis racket, frying pan, and turnips! Which she pulls out of her...'''

Wiz: She also wields Perry the Parasol, an umbrella of magical capabilities.

'''Boomstick: And one of her most valuable weapons is her ass! She can hit someone with that thing so hard that something down there explodes.'''

Wiz: She also contains a form of magic called Heart Power. She can use it to float for an indefinitely amount of time, cast healing spells, and summon lambs from the sky to put her foes to sleep.

Boomstick: Don't pet that sheep, because you might wake up in some stranger's van.

Wiz: And ever since being touched by the Vibe Scepter, she can channel her emotions into raw power. When she rages, she gains strength but slows tremendously.

'''Boomstick: Hold up! Touched by the what now???!!!'''

Wiz: The Vibe Scepter.

Boomstick: AHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!

Wiz: Oh. But she can also use it to-

Boomstick: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

Wiz: But she can also pull out her ultimate move, Empress Peach, which splits a soccer ball into three balls, instantly scoring three times.

Boomstick: HAHAHA STOP, STOP!

Wiz: And naturally,her Heart Power can dispel evil, which is the actual reason why Bowser kidnaps her.

'''Boomstick: Really? I thought it was because of well, you know...'''

Wiz: She is a fierce fighter, and somehow managed to save Mario and Luigi from Bowser. And usually, her rewards for saving her goes up to a kiss and cake.

'''Boomstick: What is it with that? Give it up already!'''

Peach: Listen everybody! Let's bake a delicious cake...for Mario.