User blog:Bowserdude/I HATE TAILS

So, basically, what this is is a new rant blog series I'll be doing. If you couldn't tell from the title, it's going to be heavily in the vein of the Youtube channel, I Hate Everything. If you haven't checked it out, I highly suggest you do.

So, yes, the topic of my first rant is going to be Tails the Fox from the Sonic the Hedgehog series. Here we go.

I HATE TAILS
Dammit, this guy is annoying! First appearing in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 in 1992, he was Sonic's sidekick that followed him throughout the game. He can fly with his two tails somehow, has an IQ of 300, and became a major character of the Sonic franchise.

I hate him, however. For a multitude of reason. Let's start at the basics. First of all, y'know how Sonic can't swim, right? And if he stays underwater too long, he'll drown. The solution to this problem? Air bubbles placed throughout the underwater sections of zones such as the Aquatic Ruin Zone and the Hydrocity Zone. They spawn every few seconds. ''Guess what? Tails, being the selfish little asshole he is, will automatically take an air bubble before you can'', which leaves you to wait for another one to spawn, often more than enough time for you to drown. This action isn't even justified, since Tails always comes back after he dies, meaning there was no point in him stealing your air bubble!

Another gameplay mechanic that Tails screws up is certain boss fights. When you hit one of Dr. Eggman's mechs in the Sonic Genesis games, there's a brief invincibility period where the machine flashes and can't be hit. However, some specific boss fights (looking at you, Hill Top Zone) have the mech positioned directly above a pit of water/lava/nothing. Tails hits the mech before you do, the mech turns invincible, you fall into the pit and lose rings or die.

I'm not done, yet. In Sonic the Hedgehog 2, in order to get the Chaos Emeralds, you need to go through a bonus game that involves running through a tunnel, collecting rings and avoiding mines. If you hit the mines, you lose rings, and you need a certain amount of rings to get the Emerald. Tails follows behind you, and his rings are added to the total count. The thing is, there's about a second of delay when you move and Tails moves, so more often than not, Tails ends up hitting the mines and depletes your ring count so you can't get the Chaos Emeralds! It's infuriating! Then again, this one might just be my skill level.

But not only that, Tails is just annoying. He's one of the more disliked Sonic character, from what I've seen. He never dies. His flight makes no sense (how do his tails spin like that?). We all remember how grating his voice was in the Sonic Adventure games, and I don't need to remind any of you he "won" one of the most disputed Death Battles out there (aside from Goku VS Superman).

So, yeah, I hate Tails. That doesn't mean you need to, but this was just my opinion. And I'm hoping to make this type of blog a regular thing.