He-Man VS Lion-O

This is the 26th DEATH BATTLE released, and the first episode of Season Two. This features He-Man from the Masters of the Universe and Lion-O from Thudercats. This Death Battle was sponsored by Netflix

Interlude
Wiz: Ahh, the glorious 80's. That odd era of goofhair, key-tars, and two swordsmen of questionable sexual preference.

Boomstick: He-Man, master of the universe...

Wiz: And Lion-O, Lord of the Thundercats.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE.

He-Man
Prince Adam: Let's go, Cringer!

He-Man: He-Man and Battle Cat are about to make an appearance.

(*He-Man!*)

Wiz: Prince Adam is the pathetic, bumbling son to the royal family of Eternia.

(*He-Man runs into a lamp and crashes*)

Boomstick: Ha, ha, dumbass.

Wiz: Then one day, a bird-clad sorceress gave him the secret powers of Castle Grayskull, transforming him into He-Man, the most powerful chip-n-dale in the universe.

Prince Adam: ...fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said, "By the power of Grayskull..."

(*He-Man!*)

He-Man: "I have the power!"

'''Boomstick: Wait, wait, that's his origin story? He just thrust his sword up and down and yelled some random shit until he turned into a near-naked superhero?'''

Wiz: Well more like a cheap action figure.

Boomstick: He-Man possesses Herculean strength, speed, durability, and a super breath which can blow over most foes, and probably a few other things if you know what I'm saying.

Wiz: The indestructible Power Sword is the conduit for his immutabilities, and has some unique powers of its own.

Boomstick: Like any good sword, it deflects lasers and can also do a bunch of other random stuff, like magnetize special rings, or tie people up with magic S&M.

Wiz: And while he is skilled enough to throw his sword like a boomerang, he occasionally uses ranged gear, such as a grappling hook and bolas, to battle the evil of Skeletor.

'''Boomstick: But I don't know where he's keeping those things. I mean he's practically much nu... whoa ho! You'd think he'd keep it in his battle harness made of Korodite, which, by the way, further multiplies his already insane strength by 10.'''

''He-Man: That's what the sorceress fashioned this harness from. It helps add to my power.''

Wiz: Prince Adam is not the only one getting a power-up. He has an adopted cat, whom he saved from the jungle at a young age.

'''Boomstick: He named him Cringer cuz... well... he's a little bitch. But whenever He-Man transforms, he zaps the little pussy, turning him into the ferocious Battle Cat.'''

(*Battle Cat roar*)

Wiz: Despite Cringer's reluctance and downright refusal to do so.

Boomstick: He's kinda like the Michael Vick of cartoon heroes.

Cringer: Oh no. My mother didn't raise any foolish children.

Wiz: Granted, Battle Cat is a tremendous asset. He's so vicious it's implied that if he doesn't transform back into Cringer, he could go on an unstoppable rampage. After all, he is half tiger, half dragon.

Boomstick: Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!

Wiz: He-Man has moved mountains, reversed a tornado, ran in circles fast enough to create a vacuum...

Boomstick: The fuck?

Wiz: And dug to the center of the planet with nothing but a broken stalactite.

Boomstick: The double fuck?

Wiz: He even shattered Photanium, the strongest metal in his universe, when even his closest friends believed it would be too much for him.

'''Boomstick: And he traded blows with Superman... you know, that one guy who can lift entire planets and maybe killed your favorite person ever? That one.'''

Wiz: Well he's not that strong, but he did manage to push a moon once... or twice. But despite his miraculous strength, he is not invincible. Enough raw force can revert him back to the far more vulnerable state of Prince Adam. He also despises violence, preferring to outsmart opponents, and thus has much less physical combat experience than you'd think.

Boomstick: Still, he's pretty good at beating the everliving crap out of people, no matter what planet or series he's on.

Wiz: That's right. The 1990's New Adventures of He-Man is technically the same He-Man we all know, giving him much more experience...

Boomstick: Wait, wait, wait, what was that?

Wiz: Shh, Boomstick, this is vital...

'''Boomstick: No, no, no! Go back! Go back! Right there!'''

''He-Man: There you go, fella. Good as new.''

'''Boomstick: What? Okay, so it broke it, I guess I'll just magic it back together.'''

Wiz: The magic of the 80's, Boomstick. The magic of the 80's.

Boomstick: Magic of lazy writing.

(*Grappling hook pulls down door*)

He-Man: Next time, you might try knocking first.

(*He-Man!*)

Lion-O
(*Thundercats!*)

Lion-O: Let's get this show on the road.

Wiz: As a child, Lion-O barely escaped the destruction of his home planet Thundara. His father sent him to 3rd Earth with five Thundarian nobles to uphold the royal lineage.

Boomstick: You know, I'm really gettin' tired of people ripping off Superman.

Wiz: But the Kryptonian comparison stops there, as on route to 3rd Earth, a suspension capsule malfunctioned... or something, it's not really explained, caused his body to age ten years.

Tygra: During that time, he grew in size, but he did not grow up.

Lion-O: What's going on?

(*bumps head on capsule door*)

'''Boomstick: Aww, we missed the cute kitty stage! Shut up! Kittens are adorable!'''

Wiz: As the newly crowned Lord of the Thundercats, Lion-O is the leader of the group and commands all of cat-kind.

Snarf: Lion-O has power over all cats!

Wiz: Against the evil forces of Mumm-ra, Lion-O was forced to mature on the battlefield. He is a quick learner, helped by his cat-like abilities and attributes.

Boomstick: Which means he's got superhuman agility and senses.

Wiz: Right. For example, while a human's nose has five million odor-sensitive cells, a cat's has over two-hundred million. Cats can hear five times better, have panoramic vision, and use their whiskers like anteanna to scan for trouble, meaning it's actually very unlikely for curiosity to kill a cat... unless they're distracted by bright shiny things.

'''Boomstick: Lion-O wears a manly sports bra and wrestling shorts and doesn't seem to own anything else. Guess someone forgot to pack, oh, you know, CLOTHES for the interplanetory trip.'''

(*Cheetara roar*)

Boomstick: Wardrobe-aside, he wields the Sword of Omens, a pocket-sized dagger, which transforms into an epic blade after the most badass battle cry ever.

''Lion-O: Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats, ho!''

'''Boomstick: It's an extremely durable, double-edged blade that cuts through stone and steel with ease. He can fly, make force fields, and shoot over fifteen different kinds of beams. Lightning bolts, fire blasts, and even a tractor beam, which Lion-O can guide things with, which is great for when you're on the couch.'''

'''Boomstick *Lion-O impression*: Sword of Omens... bring me snacks beyond snacks... and a beer!'''

Wiz: The sword's power stems from the gem housed in its hilt, the Eye of Thundara, a legendary jewel with limitless magical power, which its wielder can call upon even from a great distance, such as inside a black hole.

''Lion-O: Sword of Omens... come to my hand!''

Wiz: It is powerful enough to hold an entire planet together and can spy on people and events across space and time.

''Lion-O: Sword of Omens... give me sight beyond sight!''

'''Boomstick: He wears the Claw Shield, an extremely durable claw... glove thing, with which in his first outing he effortlessly punched down a tree. Hey! That's just like how I catch squirrels for supper!'''

Wiz: The Claw Shield may be small, but it's proven effective against blades, blows, and lasers. As a bonus, it has four grappling hooks, a smoke screen, and functions as a neat little scabbard for the Sword of Omens.

Boomstick: But the Claw Shield can't protect him from everything.

Wiz: While Lion-O is certainly quite sophisticated for an oversized thirteen-year old man kitten, he is still somewhat immature and hot-blooded. Also, both Lion-O and the Eye of Thundara share a common weakness to a glowing red rock called Thundrainium... okay, I lied, there was one more Superman rip-off. While the Eye is one of the most powerful weapons ever conceived, it may also be his greatest weakness. Turns out it's the source of life for all Thundercats, so if it's destroyed, so is Lion-O... and his entire race.

'''Boomstick: I know! I'll bring it into constant danger and get disarmed a lot!'''

Wiz: Still, Lion-O is stronger, smarter, and faster than any other Thundercat. He can pull down a spaceship attempting escape velocity and won a foot race against Cheetara, who can run 120 miles per hour.

'''Boomstick: Oh, and look... he fought Superman too.'''

Wiz: He's tough enough to survive boiling water, the molten core of the planet, and even the... vacuum of space?

'''Boomsticks: 80's magic, Wiz. 80's lazy-writin' magic.'''

''Lion-O: Sword of Omens... give me power beyond power! Ho!''

Results
Boomstick: What a crushing defeat.

Wiz: While He-Man had little trouble overpowering Lion-O's physique, the Eye of Thundara is easily the most dangerous weapon He-Man has ever faced. More than capable of obliterating him if given the chance.

Boomstick: Not only can the power of sword can deflect all of Lion-O's main attacks, it's obvious He-Man is strong enough to break the sword of omens, just like how the super strong and horribly named Tug Mug broke it in the ThunderCats show.

Wiz: A moon was approximately 70 quintillion metric tons, the highest official amount a human being has ever lifted without support is over 260 kilograms, even after excluding the koridite battle harness, He-Man is 10 quadrillion times stronger than the strongest man on earth.

Boomstick: See, and you guys all thought you never see He-Man pound a pussy.

Wiz: The winner is He-Man.

Trivia

 * This was the very first episode with the show's own announcer saying FIGHT! and K.O.