Batman VS Spider-Man

Batman VS Spider-Man is the twenty-third episode of Death Battle. This episode is sponsored by Audible.com.

Description
''Episode 23 - DC Comics VS Marvel! The dark knight battles the web crawler in a duel to the finish! Who will win? Who will die?''

Interlude
Wiz: They're the guardians of the night. The superhero saviors of the lone and helpless.

Boomstick: Bruce Wayne, the Batman.

Wiz: And Peter Parker, the Spider-Man.

Boomstick: Given time, both Batman and Spider-Man can defeat pretty much everything.

Wiz: Which is why we're piting them each other only with their standard equipment; gladiator style.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle.

Batman
(cue Tim Burton Batman main theme)

Wiz: The Dark Knight is a master of the shadows, using intimidation as a weapon, he patrols the streets of Gotham.

Boomstick: You know you're doin' something right when people are terrified at JUST your shadow.

Wiz: After his parents were murdered by the common thug, Bruce Wayne dedicated his life to fighting criminal underworld. He achieved 12 master degrees, studied 127 martial arts, and perfected escape artistry. Given enough time, he can escaped any conceivable trap.

Boomstick: Batman pushed himself to the limits of the human body: He can bench press 1,000 pounds and has great aim and reflexes.

(cue Nolan Batman main theme)

Wiz: The Batsuit was designed to be the ultimate flexible, combat armor.

Boomstick: While the pointy ears are a bit much for me, the armor can stop knives and gunfire.

Wiz: His memory cloth cape can be used as a glider and the entire suit is lined with a 200,000 volt electro network.

Boomstick: I guess when you're a billionaire, you can afford to turn yourself in a freakin' human taser.

Wiz: The gadgets from Wayne's never ending funds don't stop there! His utility belt carries DOZENS of different tools that can practically get him out of any situation.

'''Boomstick: That belt has pretty much EVERYTHING. Grappling hooks, explosives, beer. Maybe not that last one, but mine would.'''

Wiz: Notable gadgets include a gasmask, tear gas, smoke pellets, a kryptonite ring, remote detonated plastic explosives, and his trademark grapple gun. He also carries a large supply of collapsible shurikens:

'''Boomstick: The batarangs! And if throwing razor sharp objects at people isn't enough, he's got several types! Like, the electric shock, knock out dart, and grenade.'''

Wiz: Despite having the build of an olympic athlete, the caped crusader's greatest feat are attributed to his detective skills. He can anticipate attacks through muscle movement and can memorize the smallest detail, even the shape a cheek he's punched. And while Batman is only human, his achievement stand among gods.

'''Boomstick: He's a founding member of the team of superheroes known as the Justice League. And he's even fought Superman!'''

Wiz: But while Wayne has no exploitable weaknesses, he is not perfect. His mental stability has often been called into question.

'''Boomstick: Well, let's see. His parents were killed in front of him as a child, he uses his money to beat the shit out of people dressed as a giant bat, and keeps employing 12 year old sidekicks. Yeah, he's clearly not all there.'''

Wiz: But he IS a survior. He endured being broken in half, fighting the other members of the Justice Leauge, complete disintegration, and being stranded in the past as a living timebomb of galactic destruction.

Boomstick: Wait, WHAT?!

Wiz: Yet he somehow pulled through everytime.

'''Boomstick: Why? 'Cause he's the goddamn BATMAN.'''

Thug: WHERE ARE YOU?!

Batman: Here.

Batman takes out the thug.

Spiderman
(cue Raimi Spider-Man main theme)

Wiz: The friendly neighborhood Spiderman protects the streets of New York City.

'''Boomstick: Once Peter Parker was a wimpy nerd with no friends. Then he was bit by a radioactive spider that gave him weird bug powers, and now he's a radioactive superhero....with no friends. But after some practice and superheroing, he finally got himself laid. A lot, actually.'''

Wiz: A clever photographer and science major, Spiderman is not only incredibly powerful, but also a genius in strategy and science. Using these skills, he created two wrist mounted webshooters which let him swing around the city.

Boomstick: You know, if he was SO smart, wouldn't he make the webs shoot out of his butt like a real spider?

Wiz: NO, NO. First of all, it doesn't come out of their butt, it comes out of their-

'''Boomstick: [to the tune of the Spiderman song]  ♪ Spiderman! Spiderman! Craps some webs like a spider can! ♪'''

(cue Marvel vs. Capcom 3 - Spider-Man theme)

Wiz: [rough] Each web shooter cartridge can hold a large amount of pressurized web fluid-

'''Boomstick: AND SO CAN HIS GIRLFRIENDS! Haha! I'll be here all week.'''

Wiz: [annoyed] .....and features a rotating carousal to replace the empty ones.

'''Boomstick: His spider powers give him superhuman strength, speed, agility and durability. He can run up to 200 MPH, lift over 10 tons, and take a freakin' grenade to the FACE!'''

Wiz: He can also knock out a dinosaur out cold with a single punch.

Boomstick: Haha, suck it, Denver!

Wiz: Also, by altering his body's electron attractions, Spiderman can crawl along any surface. But his most advantageous power is the Spider-Sense.

Boomstick: It acts kinda like a warning signal, like caller ID when your ex-wife's calling for alimony.

Wiz: Actually, the spider-sense is much more than a simple alarm. It gives Peter omnipresent detection to his surroundings. This is why he swings around New York without looking where he shoots his webs. And unlike his human senses, it is not affected by gases or toxins unless specifically tailored to the Spider-Sense itself. However, it's up to Spider-man to recognize and react to his warning, so it can be tricked if he doesn't think he's in danger.

'''Boomstick: Still, combined with his speed, Spiderman is almost untouchable. He can even dodge automatic fire.'''

Wiz: His unique martial art, The Way of the Spider, utilizes the spider-sense to its fullest. Spiderman can go toe-to-toe with the most advanced masters of combat, even while blindfolded.

'''Boomstick: No wonder other superheroes don't like this guy. I mean, the freaking spider-sense does everything for him!'''

Wiz: Speaking of which, somehow, Spiderman once tried to join the Justice League, but was rejected by Batman.

'''Boomstick: Ouch. I bet he wishes he can fight old Bats in a battle to the death - OH, WAIT!'''

Wiz: For all of his amazing powers, Spiderman is not invincible. His bright and colorful costume makes stealth difficult, his durability has limits, and the oddly specific ethyl chloride pesticide is his kryponite. Also, any enemy with his speed comparable to his can outmatch his spider-sense.

Boomstick: Still, if those are only his limitations, how come he sometimes gets shot by a stray bullet?

Wiz: Lazy, lazy writing.

''Mary Jane: Wait! Who are you?''

Spiderman: You know who I am.

Mary Jane: I do?

Spiderman: Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

Announcement
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a -

Wiz: Commercial break!

Boomstick: COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Transcript
Spider-Man swings onto the rooftop of a building and waits. Batman then appears by jumping out of the shadows of the rooftop exit door.

Spider-Man: You've got a black belt in stupid if you think you're gonna beat me.

FIGHT!

(cue Burton Batman main theme)

Spider-Man shoots two webs, which Batman blocks. Spider-Man shoots his webbing at Batman which pulls the caped crusader towards him and hits him with multiple punches and kicks, but Batman knocks Spidey back with more powerful hits. Spider-Man bounces off the ground and lands on his feet and Batman throws two batarangs, one of which Spider-Man dodges and the other he throws away with his webs. Batman then throws an explosive batarang at Spiderman's feet. Spider-man however, simply believes that he missed him accidentally.

Spider-Man: It's just not your day pal...

The batarang explodes which sends Spider-Man high into the air. When he gets back on his feet, Batman jumps behind him as the Spider Sense picks him up and throws a smoke bomb just as Spider-Man turns around. While it does not affect the web slinger, Batman uses the smoke jump at Spider-Man and land a couple of hits on him, then knocks him back towards where he was. Spider-Man is now right at the edge of the building, where Batman throws bolas at him. Spider-Man struggles to break free but then an explosive at near his feet explode, which was likely secretly put there by Batman when the smokescreen was still up.

Spider-Man is thrown off the top of the building. He starts to spin as he falls and then shoot a web at the building's walls to pull himself forward and stick to them. But the moment he touches them, Batman swings in with his grappling gun and kicks him straight through the glass. As Spider-Man bounces and tries to recover, Batman uses his grappling gun again and disappears on to the ceiling. A batarang then flies in from the broken glass and breaks all the light bulbs, making the room completely dark. Batman tries to sneak up on the wall crawler, but triggered the wall crawler's spider sense which alerts Spidey, which he shoots a web from his left hand from his web shooter, bringing The Dark Knight down to the ground. The two continue to fight, but eventually Spider-Man shoots his webs at Batman and web rodeo slammed him against the window, cracking some of the glass. Spider-Man was about to attack, but then Batman uses his bat transponder to summon a swarm of bats to come in, breaking the rest of the glass and pushing Spider-Man back, while also distracting him. Spider-Man then rushes up to and kicks Batman out the window but Batman also used his grappling hook to pull the Spidey out the window.

Spider-Man: Pardon moi!

He then starts shooting his webs again at The Dark Knight, pulling himself towards him to continue the fight. They both fall through the air, continuing to trade blows. Spider-Man pushes Batman downwards to try and make him hit the ground first, but Batman uses his glider to get back up to Spider-Man, put him underneath his foot and slam him against a car and smash it. Spider-Man lays down as Batman jumps away from the vehicle which then, unsurprisingly, explodes sending Spider-Man flying through the air. When he gets back on his feet, Batman shoots his grapple gun, which Spider-Man dodges. The two jump at each other to try and attack but Spider-Man is then electrocuted by Batman's 200 volt suit and knocked away by Batman. The Bat then throws two explosive batarangs, one which Spider-Man avoids, but as the second one flies away Spidey uses his web shooter to catch it saying Whoopsy", throwing it back and hitting Batman, who shields himself from the explosion but is knocked back. Just as he recovered, he is hit by a web.

Spider-Man: Having fun yet?

Spider-Man then shoots a barrage of webs, which hit Batman. Bats is eventually pushed into a giant web which was created by the shoots that missed and has his body constricted by the ones that hit him and couldn't break free of the webbing (which the webbing is strong enough to hold The Hulk or a person but dissolves in 1 hour). Spider-Man then shoots a load of webbing at once behind him to create a slingshot.

Spider-Man: It's all or nothing!

Spider-Man pulls back on it and then rockets forward from the force and goes into a kick position. He nails Batman and separates his chest with his head from his limbs which are still caught in the web trap.

Spider-Man: Loooossserrrr!

He lands, with Batman's torn up, bloody body sliding after him.

''Spider-Man: Sorry about that. Web Swing!''

He then web swings away.

K.O.!

Closing
'''Boomstick: Damn that was brutal! Show it again!'''

Wiz: Despite Batman possessing more skill and knowledge, Spider-Man's abilities ultimately overpowered his arsenal.

Boomstick: To be fair, Bats might have been able to deal with Spidey's strength and speed, but that damn Spider-Sense changes everything!

Wiz: Right, the Spider-Sense counters surprise and stealth, Batman's most valuable weapons.

Wiz: But how could Batman lose to a wimpy Spider-Nerd, when he defeated the entire Justice League on his own?

Wiz: Many of Batman's greatest achievements have required weeks or months of preparation and planning, which can hardly be compared to the one-on-one confrontation of a Death Battle. Keep in mind, if we have given Batman prep time, the same would be done for Spiderman.

Boomstick: And all of Wayne's money, and the Commissioner's men, couldn't put Batman together again.

Wiz: The winner is Spider-Man.

Spider-Man

 * Stronger & faster
 * Spider sense counters stealth
 * Batman's gases & drugs do not affect the spider sense
 * Way of the Spider matches any of Batman's martial arts
 * Main villain [Green Goblin] shares some similarities with Batman
 * No easily discovered exploitable weaknesses

Batman

 * Smarter & more strategic
 * Armor held up for the most part
 * Can escape any trap, but some need more time than others
 * 200,000 volts is a minimum requirement for standard tasers
 * Slow, analytical approach trumped by Spider-Man's speed & boldness

Trivia

 * This is also the fourth Death Battle episode in which a Disney-owned character and a Warner Bros.-owned character were pitted against each other, the first three being Rogue vs. Wonder Woman, Luke Skywalker vs. Harry Potter, and Thor vs. Raiden, and the next being Captain America vs. Batman.
 * This was the sixth episode to have a comparison between the two combatants after the battle; the first 5 were Master Chief vs Doomguy, Dr. Eggman vs Dr. Wily, Princess Zelda vs Princess Peach, Thor VS Raiden, and Link vs Cloud Strife; and the last one is Pikachu vs Blanka.


 * When Wiz and Boomstick were talking about Batman, they both mentioned the grappling hook twice.


 * Apparently, Spider-Man was originally supposed to kill Batman by shooting his webbing down the latter's throat until he either exploded or his vital organs shut down. Ben and Chad then decided to change it to the slingshot, seeing it as a bit more humane.


 * This is the third time that one opponent is revealed (in this case, Spider-Man) while leaving the public to guess who the mysterious second opponent is (who is revealed to be Batman), the first three were Luke Skywalker vs. Harry Potter, Master Chief vs Doomguy, and Link vs Cloud Strife; and the last two were Fulgore VS Sektor and Godzilla VS Gamera.


 * This is the second Death Battle episode to have Boomstick spoofing a theme song of any kind, this time being the 60's Spiderman cartoon theme song; the first one was Felicia VS Taokaka where he spoofed the SatAM Sonic the Hedgehog theme song, the third being Shao Kahn VS M. Bison with the Captain Planet and the Planeteers theme song, the fourth being the Pokemon Battle Royale with the first Pokemon theme song and the fifth being Godzilla VS Gamera with the Gamera theme song.
 * This is the third Death Battle to have fanboys raging about their favourite character (Batman) losing to their opponent. The first two were Zelda VS Peach and Link vs Cloud Strife. The next four were Goku vs Superman, Luigi vs. Tails, Pokémon Battle Royale, and Batman vs. Captain America.
 * In an interview with TJOmega at Asylum 2013, Ben and Chad admitted they like Batman more than Spider-Man, proving once again favoritism doesn't go into determining the winner.
 * Voice clips of Josh Keaton from Ultimate MARVEL vs. Capcom were used for Spider-Man's quips.
 * The ending part of Spider-Man's analysis in which Wiz said "Lazy, Lazy writing" while showing a picture for The Amazing Spider-Man film released that year is a reference to Ben disliking the movie, as he went on Tiwtlonger to rant about it's writing, though he did praise the cast.
 * Batman and Spider-Man have teamed up in Elsewords comics in the 90s (Meaning none of it was canon), in the first one they teamed up to take down the Joker and Carnage, and in the second to beat the Kingpin and Ra's Al Ghul.
 * When Batman was revealed to be Spider-Man's opponent, Ben discussed on twitter why Batman wasn't going up against Iron Man. He said that it's a terrible matchup because Batman's weapons pale in comparison to Iron Man's armor.