- —Tagline
Justin Bieber VS Rebecca Black is the 14th episode of Death Battle, featuring real life musicians Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black in a battle between infamous teen pop stars.
Disclaimer
Note: The following is meant for satirical, parody, and entertainment purposes. All characters and events, even those based on real people, are fictional. This is meant to be enjoyed and not promote disrespect. The opinions expressed in this program do not reflect those of Revision3 or ScrewAttack Entertainment LLC. The Following program contains crude language and jokes. Due to its content it should not be viewed by anyone who may take offense to anything.
Interlude
Boomstick: You know what I hate more than stupid tween pop stars? Absolutely goddamn nothing!
Wiz: Like Justin Bieber, the young pop sensation, and Rebecca Black, the girl who took YouTube by storm.
Boomstick: I hate 'em even more than my blood-sucking ex-wife!
Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Justin Bieber
Wiz: In 2007, Justin Bieber was discovered by marketing executive Scooter Braun by complete accident. Under the tutelage of his mentor, Usher Raymond IV, Bieber spent a year training before becoming the biggest teen hit since Hannah Montana.
Boomstick: Why?! Why is he so popular?!
Wiz: His single titled "Baby" is the most viewed video on YouTube with nearly 600,000,000 hits.
Boomstick: I mean, it's just a kid, singing out-of-tune songs, saying "Girl" and "Baby" over and over again!
A brief part of the song "Baby" is played.
Wiz: His premature fame has prompted a vast line of merchandise, ranging from lunch boxes, squiggly straws, T-Shirts and a perfume line that is shaped like-
Boomstick: A vagina.
Wiz: ...Right. But that's not the strangest of his products. A lock of his hair once sold for $40,000.
Boomstick: What!? No! G-Goddamnit! That is the biggest waste of money I've ever heard of!
Wiz: True, unless they're planning to clone him.
Boomstick: No, that's even worse! Why would anyone want more than one of this musical abomination roaming this planet!?
Wiz: Anyway, the hair toured the world collecting bids with its own bodyguard to protect it from crazy fangirls.
Boomstick: Oh yes! Heaven forbid someone assassinate the lock of precious hair!
Wiz: And speaking of his fans, they really are crazy. The most passionate call themselves "Beliebers".
Boomstick: ...You're kidding.
Wiz: They have even been known to trample and injure others in rabid zerg rushes.
Boomstick: That's it! I'm done, Wiz! I... I can't go on in this world when this... this is what is popular!
Wiz: Also, several of these "Beliebers" are so crazy, sometimes they even try to hurt Bieber. In one concert, a fan hurled a water bottle at Bieber, traumatizing him for life and inflicting a fear of thrown objects. To capitalize on this, another audience started chucking so much crap, he refused to perform. Once, he even got into a fistfight with an older man who attacked him, and he threatens paparazzi in his spare time. He will not hesitate to use force on even his most loyal fans.
Boomstick: Well, I guess that gives him one good redeeming quality at least.
Wiz: Yet despite all the crap he gets, he still gets on stage to give a show.
Boomstick: A horrible, horrible life-scarring show.
The clip from CSI where Bieber gets shot down is played.
Wiz: Feel better?
Boomstick: (chuckles) Yep.
Rebecca Black
Wiz: Rebecca Black's mother paid $4,000 to have Ark Music Factory create a music video starring her daughter. The single, "Friday", received more than 160,000,000 views in mere months, making Rebecca a viral star for what is considered the worst song ever made.
Boomstick: For $4,000, I can come up with a better song than that crap!
Wiz: Though Black is an early riser, she seems to have an extreme case of ADHD. She cannot focus on one thing for very long. While waiting for the bus to go to school, she completely forgot what she was doing and wound up going to a party with her friends after seeing them drive by, skipping class in the process.
Boomstick: Whoa, that kid looks way too young to be driving!
Wiz: She is also incredibly indecisive. She can't even figure out where to sit.
Boomstick: But when she finally makes up her mind, she makes the worst possible choice!
Wiz: Instead of sitting in the car like a normal person, she stands in the back seat, even while, quote-unquote, "cruising down the highway". Keep in mind, the average speed limit of a highway in the United States is 60 miles per hour.
Boomstick: This chick is crazy!
Wiz: Recently, she was betrayed by her own mentor, AKA Fat Usher, when he tried charging viewers to watch the "Friday" video. In response, Black claimed copyright and took the video down.
Boomstick: Yeah, good use of $4,000 there.
Wiz: She also enjoys a big bowl of cereal every morning and was nominated for MTV's favorite animated GIF award.
Boomstick: If that's a real award, I need my own Boomstick GIF stat!
Wiz: But the worst is yet to come. Rebecca Black is a "Belieber".
Boomstick: ...What?
Wiz: Justin Bieber is her idol.
Boomstick: Ahh, goddamnit!
Rebecca Black: I hope you cut yourself and I hope you get an eating disorder so you'll look pretty.
Prelude
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!
Boomstick: Oh by the way, to make things a little more, uh, interesting, I've scattered random weapons all over the arena.
Wiz: What?
Boomstick: Quiet Wiz, it's time for the ad.
Wiz and Boomstick read out an advertisement for GameFly.
Boomstick: But first, it's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!
Death Battle
Bieber is looking across the city just like the title screen of Mega Man 2. Black shows up and sees her idol. She giggles and run towards Bieber, only to get sprayed in the face by his perfume.
Black kicks Bieber in the groin but this doesn't do anything. Bieber punches Black three times, knocking her into a trash can where a wooden staff comes out. Bieber grabs it and begins hitting Black with it, only for her to counter and throw a water bottle at him, followed by a bowl of cereal. Bieber is knocked backwards.
Soon, both him and Black wind up on the back of a truck. Bieber punches Black into a pile of trash cans and crates. A pipe comes out and Black emerges with a knife. She throws it into Bieber's leg and batters him with the pipe but Bieber punches her away and the pipe destroys an arcade game, causing a sword to appear, which he picks up. A young boy in a car drives up and Black, being the indecisive girl that she is, jumps in the car and stands in the back seat. the car drives towards Bieber and rams him into the wall, causing Black to fly into the wall as well. As Black's body slides down the wall, the Jonas Brothers show up.
Kevin Jonas: Wha-
The car explodes, killing the Jonas Brothers and sending the sword flying through the air. We then cut to a baseball field.
Commentator: And now, ladies and gentlemen, Miley Cyrus!
Miley Cyrus walks up to the batting square but the sword impales her though the head and she falls to the floor.
Announcer: M-M-MONSTER KO!
Results
Boomstick: We just set a Death Battle record!
Wiz: Not only did Bieber and Black take each other out, but also Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers and some poor 13 year old driver. While Bieber's famed fear of thrown objects kept him at a distance, Black's indecisiveness and daredevil recklessness ruined any chance she had.
Boomstick: I dunno, Wiz. At least Rebecca turned him into roadkill before giving the wall a face high-five.
Wiz: A face high... what? Black did a horrific job!
Boomstick: Well, let's let the audience decide on who sucked the most.
Wiz: Leave a comment detailing who you think was the most pathetic.
Boomstick: This fight really popped! Y-You know, 'cause... they're pop stars and... they blew up...
We cut to the "Draw" card.
Wiz: This battle is a draw.
Trivia
Production
- The connections between Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black are that they were both teenage pop stars (at the time of the episode's release) who were extremely infamous and hated on the Internet during the early 2010s, often being the targets of jokes from others due to being deemed annoying, mainly because of their most infamous and popular song at the time ("Baby" and "Friday", respectively).
- Funnily enough, Rebecca Black is a fan of Justin Bieber.
- This is the first (and only) episode to feature non-fictionalized versions of real-life people in a satirical battle, although the DBX episode Donald Trump VS Hillary Clinton used the same concept.
- This is the first (and only) episode to feature a disclaimer at the beginning.
- According to the 43rd episode of DEATH BATTLE Cast, Ben Singer believes that this was the dumbest episode of Death Battle ever made and possibly the dumbest content ever produced by ScrewAttack.[1]
- This sentiment is widely shared amongst virtually all of the Death Battle community, with many citing this episode as the worst one of the show because of its nature of cyberbullying two teenagers at the time of its release just because their music was found annoying by a large number of people.
- Also according to this Cast, this episode is how ScrewAttack's 3D animator Torrian Crawford found Death Battle and ScrewAttack.
- All of the character sprites were from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Game, with the celebrities' faces pasted over the character sprites.
Errors
- On Rebecca's "Extreme ADHD" slide, "grammar" is misspelled as "grammer".
Other
- This is the third Male VS Female-themed episode, after Boba Fett VS Samus Aran (2010) and Yoshi VS Riptor, and with the next 22 being Starscream VS Rainbow Dash, Gaara VS Toph, Boba Fett VS Samus Aran (2015), Dante VS Bayonetta, Meta VS Carolina, Tracer VS Scout, Zoro VS Erza, Deadpool VS Pinkie Pie, Lara Croft VS Nathan Drake, Thor VS Wonder Woman, Carnage VS Lucy, Captain Marvel VS Shazam, Dragonzord VS Mechagodzilla, Mob VS Tatsumaki, Gray VS Esdeath, Beerus VS Sailor Galaxia, The Seven Battle Royale, Red VS Blue, Shadow VS Ryuko, Steven Universe VS Star Butterfly, Killua VS Misaka, and Gojo VS Makima.
- This is the second episode to have both the episode's main combatants die, after Goomba VS Koopa, and with the next one being Eggman VS Wily.
- This is the second episode to end in a draw, after Goomba VS Koopa, and with the next three being Chuck Norris VS Segata Sanshiro, Deadpool VS Pinkie Pie, and Scooby-Doo VS Courage the Cowardly Dog.
- This is the only episode for viewers to decide who won, as Boomstick told them to comment on who was the worst.
- This is the second joke episode, after Goomba VS Koopa, and with the next eight being Starscream VS Rainbow Dash, Chuck Norris VS Segata Sanshiro, Hercule Satan VS Dan Hibiki, Deadpool VS Pinkie Pie, Smokey Bear VS McGruff the Crime Dog, Deadpool VS Mask, Macho Man VS Kool-Aid Man, and SpongeBob VS Aquaman.