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Meta VS Carolina
  • Current
  • Original
  • Current (Rooster Teeth)
Season 3
Overall Episode 64
Season Episode 7
Air date August 3rd, 2016
Written by Ben Singer & Chad James
Animated by Torrian Crawford
Episode link Rooster Teeth
YouTube (ScrewAttack)
YouTube (Red vs. Blue)
Episode guide
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The top of the Freelancer board is taking on the scariest mute in the galaxy. All bets are off! It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

Meta VS Carolina is the 64th episode of DEATH BATTLE!, featuring The Meta and Agent Carolina from the Red vs. Blue series in a battle between the strongest Freelancers. The Meta was voiced by Matt Hullum and Burnie Burns, Agent Carolina was voiced by Jen Brown and Epsilon was voiced by Burnie Burns.

Note: This episode is a special crossover with DEATH BATTLE! and Rooster Teeth's Red vs. Blue and is alternatively known as "Meta VS Carolina: Dawn of Awesome" on their website.

Interlude

Vic: "Who would win in a fight?" Now, if that's not the most popular question asked around Project Freelancer, I don't know what is. Oh! No, wait--it'd probably be "Hey, where do these AI keep coming from?" or "Have you noticed that we're looking pretty evil lately?" Anyway, there's been plenty of action-packed punch-outs and kick-ass karate matches over the years, but we never really saw a match-up between two of our heaviest hitters: Carolina and the Meta. Let's see if we can do something about that.

The words "Meta vs. Carolina: Dawn of Awesome" float into frame. Cut to Valhalla, where Grif and Simmons are seen standing at Red base.

GrifHey.

Simmons: Yeah?

Grif: You ever wonder...who'd win in a fight between Carolina and the Meta?

Simmons: Pfft, no! Only hopeless nerds on the Internet care about that kind of crap.

Grif: Uh, yeah. Why do you think I'm asking you? Come on, picture it. It'd be totally bad-ass!

Simmons: Well, yeah, I'd guess... Carolina would definitely win though.

Grif: Bullshit! You're just picking her because you're scared of girls! Meta's WAY scarier. He threw a Warthog at me!

Simmons: Oh, I didn't realize "scariness" was the deciding factor in a fight to the fucking death! Genius!

Caboose: Hey Reds! What are you talking about?

Simmons: Oh, Grif was just asking what would happen if Carolina and Meta fought.

Caboose: Fought who?

Simmons: One another.

Caboose: Another who?

Simmons: What?!

Caboose: What?

Grif: Just ignore him.

Caboose: Oh, you mean DEATH BATTLE.

Simmons: I mean, sure?

Caboose: Oh! Awesome! Hang on, I know some smart people that can help! Be right back!

Simmons: Do you have any idea what he's talking about?

Grif: No, but I DO know that you're still fucking wrong.

Caboose: Okay, I'm back.

Simmons: That was fast.

Caboose: Yep, I called Command and they sent two of their best scientist fighting people to help us!

Simmons: Their best? Really?!

Boomstick: And THAT'S how you write your name in buckshot.

Wiz: Alright, alright, enough screwing around. We've got a job to do.

Boomstick: Oh, fine...

Grif: I think you're forgetting that Command's best is just a step up from incompetent.

Simmons: They sent us Donut.

Grif: I rest my case.

Caboose: Introducing... Jizz and Broomstick!  Ick, ick, ick, ick...

Wiz: It's "Wiz" and "Boomstick".

Grif: Wow, those are the dumbest names I've ever heard.

Simmons: Franklin. Delano. Donut.

Grif: ...And I retract my previous statement.

Boomstick: Yeah, well you've got the dumbest face I've ever seen!

Grif: Uh, I thought you were supposed to be smart. I'm wearing a helmet.

Caboose: Oh my God, me too!

Simmons: Alright, so how do you guys do this? You just, like, draw names out of a hat? Count some chicken bones around?

Wiz: It's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

Simmons: ...Why did you say it like that?!

Boomstick: Just... j-just watch.

The Meta

(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)

Wiz: Before there was Red vs. Blue, there was Project Freelancer. The Freelancers were highly-trained soldiers with experimental weaponry and a mission so secret, not even they knew what it was.

Boomstick: Kind of stupid in hindsight, but these were true soldiers. The biggest and strongest of them all was Agent Maine.

(*Cues: Red vs Blue - Debris Field*)

Wiz: Maine was the muscle of the team, relying on his brute strength, wrestling styles and his unwavering ferocity to intimidate and crush his foes.

Boomstick: While he likes carrying an M6G magnum pistol into battle, he really likes a certain alien grenade launcher he stole, the Type-25 Grenade Launcher, A.K.A the Brute Shot.

Cuts to Red vs. Blue.

Boomstick: I mean, seriously, look at this thing! It's got a blade and can fire up to four rounds in three seconds. Let's test that, shall we?

Grif: Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

Boomstick fires the Brute Shot at Grif.

Grif: AHH!! OWW!

Boomstick: *sigh* Well, in conclusion, I love this thing.

Resumes Death Battle segment.

(*Cues: Red vs Blue - Planning the Heist*)

Boomstick: So, the guy was a badass fighter. Too bad Project Freelancer ended up turning him into a monster.

Wiz: Long story short, the Director of Project Freelancer received a rare artificial intelligence for testing.

Boomstick: The Director imagined an army of super-soldiers paired with A.I.'s but he can only get the one.

Wiz: Being the resourceful scientist he was, the Director decided to torture the A.I, forcing it to separate it's raw emotions into multiple personalities to save itself. These personalities were captured as individual A.I fragments and paired with different freelancers. Trust me, that's science.

Boomstick: Maine was given Sigma, the A.I fragment representing ambition and creativity. And apparently, being creative means you're fucking evil.

Wiz: Desperate to gather his fellow A.I fragments and reform into a perfect A.I, Sigma manipulated and brainwashed Maine, turning him into the murdering psychopath known as The Meta.

Boomstick: The Meta went on a rampage, betraying his fellow Freelancers and stealing their A.Is. It was like the Predator, but tougher, meaner and with tons of overpowered equipment.

Wiz: His Domed Energy Shield creates a nigh impregnable force field.

Boomstick: It can block bullets, explosions and even shells from tanks.

Back to Red vs. Blue.

Boomstick: Allow us to demonstrate.

Boomstick places a domed energy shield around Grif.

Boomstick: Here's Grif inside an energy shield.

Grif: Yeah. So?

Caboose gets into a tank.

Boomstick: And here's a tank operated by Caboose.

Caboose: And what could go wrong?

Grif: Oh, shit.

Caboose: Fire in the hole in one!

Caboose fires at Grif, completely missing the shield.

Grif: Phew...

Boomstick: Let's try that again, Blue buddy.

Caboose: Yes sir, Captain Deadpan!

The shield runs out of energy and drops.

Grif: Huh?  Wait, it ran out of--GYAAAH!!!

Caboose fires again, squarely hitting Grif.

Boomstick: Now, if the energy shield had been there, Grif would've been fine.

Caboose: Wow. Science is fun!

Simmons: (off-screen) I've said it for years!

Resumes Death Battle segment.

(*Cues: Red vs Blue - The Meta Theme*)

Wiz: As if that weren't enough, The Meta's Active Camouflage turns him practically invisible, his Strength Boost enhancement grants him... well, super strength. And most impressively, his Temporal Distortion device can slow time to a crawl.

Boomstick: He can turn invisible and stop time? This guy sounds unstoppable!

Wiz: Unfortunately, running so much equipment alongside so many AI fragments consumes a lot of power. But, that hasn't stopped him from killing several Freelancers and stealing seven other AIs.

Boomstick: Not to mention, the dude can take a hit and keep on going. Even when that hit is taking nine shots point-blank to the neck! Man, and I thought my voice made my throat hurt. No wonder he never talks.

Wiz: The only thing that could stop him was in a couple of idiots stabbed him in the chest, tied him to a car, and threw that car off a cliff into the freezing ocean.

Boomstick: But let's be fair, Wiz, that's a pretty fucking hardcore way to go.

Maine jumps on the hood of Rhee Seibel's car and stabs him with the bayonet of his brute shot.

Back to Red vs. Blue

Grif: Hey, wait a minute! Where'd you get all this footage? Have you been spying on us?

Wiz: Don't worry about it.

Agent Carolina

(*Cues: Red vs Blue - Extraction*)

Wiz: Leading the troops of Project Freelancer, Agent Carolina was supposedly the best of the best. She commanded the team through many successful missions, mastered several martial arts, and her top spot on the leaderboard seemed untouchable.

Boomstick: Until a mysterious stranger showed up out of the blue and ruined everything, but we'll get to that later. Carolina carries a wider variety of weapons than most Freelancers. Over the course of her career, she's favored the standard magnum pistol, dual plasma rifles, a grappling hook which can operate in outer space, a humbler stun device which is basically a shock baton, and a long-range BR55 Battle Rifle.

Back to Red vs. Blue.

Grif is running away behind Boomstick.

Boomstick: It's not as flashy as a shotgun, but it's got an impressive range of over 3,000 feet.

Boomstick shoots Grif with the Battle Rifle.

Grif: Oww!! Why me!?

Boomstick: It just feels right.

Resumes Death Battle segment

(*Cues: Red vs Blue - Pelican Cruise/ Infiltration*)

Wiz: Like many other Freelancers, Carolina also possesses an A.I companion, several, actually, but for this matchup, we'll be focusing on the time she spent with Epsilon, the memory of the original Alpha A.I. the Director fragmented. It's also known as Church. Like the other A.I fragments, Epsilon experiences time 205 times slower than a human being and therefore drastically speeds up Carolina's thoughts and reaction time.

Boomstick: Too bad he's kind of an asshole. And by kind of, I mean, that's basically his thing.

Church: Guys, I'm an asshole.

Boomstick: In her post Freelancer career, Carolina made it her mission to track down as much experimental armor equipment as possible, and let me tell you, she did a very damn good job. Like Maine, she managed to acquire the Domed Energy Shield, but also picked up Adaptive Camouflage, a Speed Boost, and a Healing Unit.

Wiz: Unfortunately, just one AI fragment isn't enough to run all this equipment at once. In battle, if Carolina's not careful, she can accidentally push Epsilon too far and essentially short circuit him.

Boomstick: Yeah, for a leader, she's kind of hot-headed and super competitive. Like when Agent Texas joined the Freelancer crew and started showing her up, Carolina started making a lot of stupid mistakes.

Wiz: There's a lot going on here. Turns out, the Director was Carolina's father all along and Tex was actually the AI fragment memory of his deceased wife, meaning Carolina's greatest rival for her father's approval was actually her own mother.

Back to Red vs. Blue.

Grif and Simmons: (In unison) Wait, WHAT?!

Grif: You're making that up!

Wiz: You guys didn't know that? Where have you been? Pay attention.

Caboose: Ah, yeah seriously, guys, it's like super obvious.

Simmons: Huh. Suddenly, everything makes a lot more sense.

Grif: Fuck, dude. Remember when all we used to do was stand around and talk?

Simmons: Yeah, good times.

Grif: Good times...

Boomstick beats up Grif with his Brute Shot.

Grif: Ow.

Boomstick: Hehe, still love this thing!

Resumes Death Battle segment

(*Cues: Red vs Blue - Freelancer Implosion*)

Wiz: Regardless, Carolina is one tough woman. She's defeated several other Freelancers, saved an entire planet from civil war, and once blocked the shock wave of a nuclear explosion.

Boomstick: She and Epsilon were even skilled enough to track down dear old Dad after he went into hiding just to help him kill himself. Geez, that got dark real fast.

Santa: WHO ARE YOU?

Carolina: I'm your true warrior.

Death Battle

Somewhere inside of Mother of Invention, Carolina is training in the room, punching and kicking the targets.

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

The Meta comes in and sees her through the window, watching Carolina finish her training.

Carolina: Time.

Church's AI fragment appears.

Church: Ooh, yeah, just point zero three milliseconds too slow. Looks like I'm picking the movie tonight.

Carolina: Ugh. Can it not be another garbage action movie?

Church: Oh, come on, they're hilarious. Everyone talks in one-liners, the plot's non-existent. It's like the characters are just there to beat the shit out of each other!

An alarm goes off, warning Church.

Church: Uh oh.

Carolina: What is it?

Church: Uhhh... I think we're about to have company.

The scene cuts to Meta, who balls his fists up as Carolina points her pistol up to Meta.

Carolina: Maine?

Church: Not exactly.

(*Cues: Slingshot - Trocadero*)

The Meta's AI fragments appear and tell Meta to kill Carolina and take her AI. The Meta takes out his Brute Shot.

Church: OK, if we win, you can totally pick the movie.

The Meta breaks through the window.

FIGHT!

Meta thrusts down the Brute Shot but Carolina rolls away and shoots at Meta but he blocks the bullets with the Brute Shot.

Church: Not working!

Carolina: I can see that!

Meta uses the Brute Shot to attack, but Carolina blocks the attacks although Meta kicks her away. Meta then attacks Carolina's head, but she blocks it and shoots at Meta's head. Meta counters and headbutts Carolina, throwing her pistol away. Meta then tries to hit Carolina but she dodges it and pulls out her Humbler Stun Device. Both Meta and Carolina charge at each other. Meta tries to hit Carolina but she blocks it and stuns Meta multiple times, knocking his Brute Shot away with an air kick. Meta then sees his fallen Brute Shot, instead of picking it up, he growls and punches his fists together and walks towards Carolina as he tries to punch her many times but Carolina dodges them as she stuns Meta and kicks him down.

Church: You sure you can't set that thing to kill?

The Meta growls and punches the ground to get up and walks towards the Brute Shot to pick it up.

Carolina: Just hold on!

Carolina activates her Speed Boost and runs towards Meta. As Meta picks up the Brute Shot, Carolina punches Meta and starts to run up the walls, The Meta tries to shoot at Carolina but he misses all the shots as Carolina dashes towards The Meta and punches him to a wall. Carolina rolls and pulls her Battle Rifle as she shoots towards The Meta but he activated Domed Energy Shield and Overshield. The Meta activates Active Camouflage as the Domed Energy Shield and Overshield drops.

Carolina: Church, where is he?

Church: I'm on it, scanning... Your left!

The Meta appears and slashes Carolina's Battle Rifle in half. She throws it away and both begin to attack in hand-to-hand combat but Carolina blocks Meta's punch and starting to punch him multiple times but Meta blocked Carolina's last punch and punched her into the face and into the crotch. They both once again punch each other but Meta punches and backflips into Carolina's back and kicks her away. Meta then stands and walks towards fallen Carolina as he growls, she tries to pick up her pistol but Meta grabs her leg and smashes her down but Carolina kicks his face, gets up and walks towards the Meta as she kicks and knees him but Meta punches Carolina as he does a Superman punch, knocking her away.

Carolina: Church, I need Armor Enhancements.

Church: Which ones?

Carolina: All of them!

Carolina activates all of her Armor Enhancements.

Church: Uh that doesn't seem like a good ideaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

Carolina dashes towards Meta with enhanced speed as Church screams, but Meta uses Temporal Distortion to stop Carolina in midair.

Church: Huh? ...Aw shit.

Meta then pulls out his Brute Shot and knocks Carolina into a wall, Carolina is horribly damaged.

Church: Dammit! OK, uh, focusing on the Healing Unit, I got you. Carolina, can you hear me?

The scene cuts to Meta reloading his Brute Shot. Carolina rolls forward, grabs her pistol and shoots at Meta as she successfully lands multiple hits, Meta drops to one knee.

Church: You got him!

Meta stands back up, growls and slowly walking towards Carolina.

Church: OK seriously, what the fuck?

Carolina reloads her pistol as she tries to shoot at Meta again, but Meta throws his Brute Shot as it slashes Carolina and sticks into the wall. Meta punches multiple times then grabs Carolina and is about to punch her in order to finish the fight.

Church: Hey hey, wait wait wait! Wait, hold up.

The Meta growls as the other A.I. fragments notice Church.

Church: Uhhh hey, so I know you're about to pummel her ginger face in and all. But you also talk in grunts, so I'm just gonna say this one line for you okay? Just this one time.

Carolina then pulls out Meta's Brute Shot and points at Meta's head.

Church: Oh! Son of a Bitch!

Carolina shoots at Meta's head blowing it off completely.

KO!

Carolina: Church?

Church: Yeah?

Carolina: No action movies.

Results

Grif: Holy shit!

Caboose: I know! He did not even have a head under his helmet! He was a ghost the whole time!

Simmons: I told you, I TOLD you!

Caboose: (under his breath) Like Bruce Willis...

Grif: Bullshit! Meta's stronger, he should've won!

Wiz: Not true, Grif.

(*Cues: Red vs Blue - Planning the Heist again*)

Wiz: As the Freelancer leaderboard proves, strength isn't everything. Carolina's mastery of martial arts let her hold her own and her use of equipment allowed her to match and even counter The Meta's. He may have gained an upper hand with his Temporal Distortion, but Carolina's Healing Unit quickly repaired damage done during the attack.

Boomstick: Even though The Meta had all that powerful equipment, it drained his suit's energy way too fast. Carolina tried to use all of her equipment at once and failed. Luckily, she had Epsilon to change tactics and focus on recovery.

Wiz: Which brings us to what is perhaps the most important factor of the fight: the relationship between Freelancer and artificial intelligence. The Meta was brainwashed and manipulated by eight different AI, effectively filling his head with an unintelligible mess of voices and commands. In contrast, Carolina and Epsilon work together as partners with a mutual trust, both capable of making judgment calls to make up for each other's weaknesses.

Grif: Whatever. I still say it should've been the Meta.

Wiz: Says the guy who can't tell the difference between a car and a puma.

Grif: I can tell the difference! It was a matter of comparison!

Boomstick: The Meta just couldn't get ahead of his competition.

Wiz: The winner is Agent Carolina.

Post-Results

Sarge: Hey! What in Sam Hill are you two doing fraternizing with the blue devil and a-

Sarge notices Wiz and Boomstick.

Sarge: Who the hell are these dirtbags?

Wiz: Wha-ho! Easy there, sir. We're just here from Command!

Boomstick: Hey, nice shotgun! I like the cut of your jib!

Sarge: Hehehe. Well, whaddaya know? Someone who has an eye for the finer things in life!

Boomstick: Hoho, you better believe it!

Sarge: Y'know, you remind me of someone. Almost like the son that I... never wanted.

Boomstick: Well, that's funny. I was about to say you're like the Pappy I never had. When I was a kid, he ran out on us to join the Army and never came back.

Sarge: Huh. Well... how about that? Time to move along, I guess. Nothing to see here. Do-do-do Do-di-do Do-do.

Sarge walks away and the singing fades away slowly. Everyone looks at Boomstick.

Boomstick: What a nice guy!

Trivia

DEATH BATTLE Episodes
Season 1 1 Boba Fett VS Samus Aran2 Akuma VS Shang Tsung3 Rogue VS Wonder Woman4 Goomba VS Koopa5 Haggar VS Zangief6 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale7 Zitz VS Leonardo8 Yoshi VS Riptor9 Felicia VS Taokaka10 Kratos VS Spawn11 Bomberman VS Dig Dug12 Vegeta VS Shadow13 Mario VS Sonic (2011)14 Justin Bieber VS Rebecca Black15 Luke Skywalker VS Harry Potter16 Chun-Li VS Mai Shiranui17 Starscream VS Rainbow Dash18 Master Chief VS Doomguy19 Eggman VS Wily20 Zelda VS Peach21 Thor VS Raiden22 Link VS Cloud23 Batman VS Spider-Man24 Pikachu VS Blanka25 Goku VS Superman
Season 2 26 He-Man VS Lion-O27 Shao Kahn VS M. Bison28 Ryu Hayabusa VS Strider Hiryu29 Ivy VS Orchid30 Fox McCloud VS Bucky O'Hare31 Terminator VS RoboCop32 Luigi VS Tails33 Pokémon Battle Royale34 Fulgore VS Sektor35 Godzilla VS Gamera36 Batman VS Captain America37 Tigerzord VS Gundam Epyon38 Ryu VS Scorpion39 Deadpool VS Deathstroke40 Kirby VS Majin Buu41 Ragna VS Sol Badguy42 Gaara VS Toph43 Boba Fett VS Samus Aran (Remastered)44 Chuck Norris VS Segata Sanshiro45 Guts VS Nightmare46 Iron Man VS Lex Luthor47 Beast VS Goliath48 Solid Snake VS Sam Fisher49 Darth Vader VS Doctor Doom50 Goku VS Superman 251 Donkey Kong VS Knuckles52 Wolverine VS Raiden53 Hercule Satan VS Dan Hibiki54 Yang VS Tifa55 Mega Man VS Astro Boy56 Green Arrow VS Hawkeye57 Pokémon VS Digimon
Season 3 58 Dante VS Bayonetta59 Bowser VS Ganon60 Ratchet & Clank VS Jak & Daxter61 Flash VS Quicksilver62 Joker VS Sweet Tooth63 Mewtwo VS Shadow64 Meta VS Carolina65 Cammy VS Sonya66 Tracer VS Scout67 Ken VS Terry68 Amy Rose VS Ramona Flowers69 Hulk VS Doomsday70 Zoro VS Erza71 Deadpool VS Pinkie Pie
Season 4 72 Lara Croft VS Nathan Drake73 Scrooge McDuck VS Shovel Knight74 Venom VS Bane75 Power Rangers VS Voltron76 Natsu VS Ace77 Sub-Zero VS Glacius78 Android 18 VS Captain Marvel79 Metal Sonic VS Zero80 Lucario VS Renamon81 Balrog VS TJ Combo82 Shredder VS Silver Samurai83 Smokey Bear VS McGruff the Crime Dog84 Thor VS Wonder Woman85 Naruto VS Ichigo86 Batman Beyond VS Spider-Man 209987 Sephiroth VS Vergil
Season 5 88 Black Panther VS Batman89 Raven VS Twilight Sparkle90 Jotaro VS Kenshiro91 Crash VS Spyro92 Sora VS Pit93 Leon Kennedy VS Frank West94 Doctor Strange VS Doctor Fate95 Ryu VS Jin96 Samurai Jack VS Afro Samurai97 Carnage VS Lucy98 Optimus Prime VS Gundam99 Nightwing VS Daredevil100 Mario VS Sonic (2018)101 Ultron VS Sigma102 Roshi VS Jiraiya103 Thanos VS Darkseid
Season 6 104 Aquaman VS Namor105 Mega Man Battle Royale106 Black Widow VS Widowmaker107 Captain Marvel VS Shazam108 Wario VS King Dedede109 Ben 10 VS Green Lantern110 Weiss VS Mitsuru111 Johnny Cage VS Captain Falcon112 Aang VS Edward Elric113 Ghost Rider VS Lobo114 Dragonzord VS Mechagodzilla115 Sasuke VS Hiei116 Ganondorf VS Dracula117 Mob VS Tatsumaki118 Deadpool VS Mask119 All Might VS Might Guy
Season 7 120 Miles Morales VS Static121 Black Canary VS Sindel122 Leonardo VS Red Ranger Jason123 Genos VS War Machine124 Gray VS Esdeath125 Goro VS Machamp126 Cable VS Booster Gold127 Obi-Wan Kenobi VS Kakashi128 Danny Phantom VS American Dragon Jake Long129 She-Ra VS Wonder Woman*
*Currently unreleased

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