|The Seven Battle Royale|
|Air date||September 17th, 2020|
|Written by||Liam Swan|
|Animated by||Christopher Bak|
|Episode link||Rooster Teeth|
Rooster Teeth (Breakdown)
Flash VS Sonic
Winter Soldier VS Red Hood
The Seven Battle Royale is a Bonus Episode of DEATH BATTLE!, featuring Queen Maeve, A-Train, The Deep, Starlight and Billy Butcher from the The Boys series in a battle to determine the strongest member of Vought's most talented team of Supes. Queen Maeve was voiced by Natalie van Sistine, A-Train by Conrad Haynes, The Deep by Billy Bob Thompson, Starlight by Anna Chloe Moorey and Butcher by Kay Eluvian.
(*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)
(We see Wiz, Boomstick, and the Seven member Black Noir in an announcers booth together)
Wiz: Hello, and thank you for joining us for this special program, brought to you in part by Vought Industries, the same Vought family where the Seven call home.
Boomstick: And we're joined by one of those famous superheroes, Black Noir!
(Black Noir just looks at both of them, not saying a word)
Boomstick: Okay! You know these guys have an Amazon original series? The Boys, only on Prime Video.
Wiz: These heroes are formidable, but today, we will learn just how powerful they truly are.
Boomstick: In a simulated battle royal! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Wiz: A-Train, Queen Maeve, The Deep, Translucent, Starlight, Black Noir, Homelander. Earth's most mighty, champions of the innocent, they are the Seven.
Boomstick: It's their job to end crime in America and watch over the world.
Wiz: Lead by this country's righteous savior, Homelander. Now, we already know he's far more powerful than the others, so his participation in today's simulated battle will be a bit different.
Boomstick: He can survive every known weapon on the planet, and most nukes these days reach 1.5 megatons of TNT. He can fly faster than an F-16 Fighting Falcon and throw a baseball into orbit, but he doesn't really need to do much when his laser vision can slice up a whole room of villains in seconds.
Wiz: Some might say that's lazy, but I call it efficient. Also, he makes time for selfies with the fans. That's a real American hero.
Homelander: (to a crowd) Who's the real heroes? You are!
Boomstick: But our friends at Vought control over two hundred other superheroes. So you can bet your dick the rest of the Seven are the cream of the crop.
(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick)
Wiz: And you obviously can't put a team together without some massive corporate conglomerate making all the decisions.
Boomstick: I know, right? Kinda jealous, they're raking it in with movies, and have you seen the action figures? There's more than one way they're making a killing, if you know what I mean?
(Black Noir glares at him)
Boomstick: (Nervously) Uh, but I'm sure the real reward is all those people you save, right Black Noir?
(Black Noir glares and sips a drink through a straw)
Wiz: There's no better example of heroics than Queen Maeve, a long-time veteran of the team.
Boomstick: She's super strong and an expert fighter. She can power through a ton of pain, like when all the bones in her arms shattered while saving a school bus full of kids. She's bulletproof, armored van-proof and ego-proof.
Wiz: With the biggest heart on the team, she'll never leave an innocent person behind.
Boomstick: Of course, Black Noir here is the true martial arts expert of the team.
Wiz: Don't pass by his upcoming film, "Insurrection".
Boomstick: And don't pass by A-Train, because you can't, you literally can't pass him, he's way faster then you.
Wiz: With a top recorded speed of 371 meters per second, way over the speed of sound, A-Train is fast enough to instantly kill a person just by running into them! Uh, theoretically, of course.
(we cut back to Wiz and Boomstick)
Boomstick: Ah, too bad he's had a hard time with drug abuse, that Compound-V stuff might boost his speed, but I don't know if a heart attack is worth it...
(Black Noir crushes the bottle in his hand)
Boomstick: Jesus! You gonna clean that up?
Wiz: And then there's the Deep, he can talk to fish, breathe underwater...and that's it.
Wiz: He may have sexually assaulted the new hire when she arrived, but, like a true hero, he apologized publicly, instead of to her, absolutely meant what he said, naturally changed his ways overnight, and was shipped off to Ohio, and hasn't been seen since.....
Boomstick: Man, he sucks!
Wiz: Yeah, he does...
(Black Noir nods)
Boomstick: Last, but not least, is Starlight, the youngest member of the team, and maybe the girl you know next door, ah, she's so relatable.
Wiz: Starlight is quite literally a new light amongst the hardened, experienced veterans of the Seven. By absorbing electricity from nearby sources, she can emit beams of light-emitting plasma, look too closely and you might be blinded by her brilliance.
Boomstick: She's skilled in Taekwondo and, like most of the Supes, except the douche over there, she's super tough, like when she took two straight shots to the chest from a Serbu BFG 50 rifle, and got right back up! And you can pick yourself up too, with Wish skincare by Starlight. Wait, what did I just read?
Wiz: Unfortunately, this rookie's early days with the Seven weren't the kindest, as she found herself among a bad crowd. The same people who murdered her shining teammate, Translucent.
Boomstick: Billy Butcher! (KILLER) Mother's Milk! (RUTHLESS) Kimiko! (FUGITIVE) Hugh Campbell! (GREMLIN) And this guy, who's not yet been identified...but we're pretty sure he's French (FRENCH).
Wiz: Imagine men on the run, wanted across the world, their faces memorized by every officer in every precinct, but most importantly, hunted by the Seven themselves. These criminals aren't men, they're Boys....and girl, and a girl. The-they're inclusive.
Boomstick: They aren't special, they're nobodies. Like Hughie, he's a normal everyday salesman at some dinky electronics store who just took a collateral incident a bit too personally.
Boomstick: So what if a Supe splattered your girlfriend all across the pavement? Vought's lawyers let us know he's not legally responsible.
Wiz: Now, just to prove there is no bias on our part, Mother's Milk is a family man, Frenchie is a victim of abuse looking after others, and Kimiko is a refugee hiding from terrorists.
Boomstick: And yet, these schlubs decided to assault our country's finest. I-I mean the superheroes. All thanks to their leader, the diabolical Billy Butcher. He's a violent lunatic, and he's not even a real American.
Police Officer: What's with the accent?
Billy: What's with yours?
Wiz: That must be why he hates Homelander so much, I mean it's not like Homelander is the bad guy, he's a perfect boy scout, who grew up playing catch with his father like a normal, totally sane person.
(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick)
Wiz: He couldn't actually be the villain here, unless everyone is lying.
(He smiles nervously, Black Noir grabs him by the throat)
Wiz: (choking) That's ridiculous, (coughs) please don't kill me.
Boomstick: The Boys have made it their mission to figure out the best way to kill every Supe in town, got a Starlight problem? EMP nearby electronics. Is A-Train coming at ya? Stick him with some Epinephrine. Got an invisible man stalking you who also has indestructible skin? Jam some C-4 up his butt.
Frenchie: Ass bomb.
Wiz: Translucent's powers were fascinating, while unclothed, his outer skin could turn invisible and unbreakable.
Boomstick: Until the ass bomb, but now that they have an open seat, I hear Vought's got eyes on a new addition to the Seven.
Wiz: Makes sense, they can't exactly go around calling themselves the Six, right? That's-that's actually a musical, I don't think they can trademark that.
Boomstick: And now that the Seven are joining our heroes in camo, I'm sure they'll take care of Butcher and the Boys sooner than later.
Wiz: To see how they handle such a rogue firsthand, we will be including Billy Butcher in today's battle royal, for however long he survives.
Boomstick: So let's get to the fight simulation already!
In the middle of the city at night, rain pours down as the five combatants walk towards the middle of the city.
Boomstick: And here they are entering the arena! The Seven and... other!
Wiz: These apartment blocks were sanctioned for the event, of course the residents have been removed from their homes and barely- I mean FAIRLY compensated.
As the heroes and vigilante arrive in the center, the smug Homelander is seen flying above the buildings looking down.
Boomstick: And there's Homelander, flying above like a guardian angel!
Wiz: Apt description, Homelander will act as referee just in case anyone goes too far. Even with this being a stimulation, we wouldn't want anything... severe to happen.
Billy quickly takes out his pistol and aims it at his opponents.
Butcher: Alright supercunts, who's first?
The Deep: Isn't it obvious, asshole? YOU! There's no way us, "The Seven", the "heroes" are gonna let you walk aw-
The Deep is quickly pulverized as A-Train dashes through him shortly after injecting Compound-V. He spits out some of Kevin's remains.
A-Train: Ugh! I think I swallowed a gill...
Butcher begins firing his gun at A-Train, who easily dodges all the bullets and brags to the only human fighter.
A-Train: Please! Not even a threat! I got this.
After dodging one of Billy's punches, A-Train quickly runs over to Queen Maeve, who manages to block his quick attacks. They are interrupted by a beam fired by Starlight. A-Train easily avoids the beams while Queen Maeve gets knocked down by one. As the three heroes are fighting each other, Billy decides to retreat.
Butcher: Ah, screw this rubbish!
Billy runs into one of the buildings while A-Train narrowly dodges one of Starlight's plasma beams before landing two punches on her face. She runs off just before Queen Maeve tries to kick her. Maeve sidesteps to avoid two of Annie's beams and kicks her before landing a carefully timed punch on A-Train, knocking him down.
Meanwhile, Homelander flies in the sky smiling as he witnesses the fight.
Starlight prepares to fire another beam before a bullet suddenly ricochets off her head.
Butcher: Oy! Sorry about that...
Billy now has the high ground on one of the buildings and aims at the shining heroine while reloading his sniper rifle.
Butcher: Fancy another?
Starlight then focuses her aim on the human and fires off multiple beams of light. Butcher runs forward as he manages to avoid all of the beams behind him before jumping off the now burning building. As he recovers, a mysterious baby crawls out of a sack that he was carrying.
Before Starlight gets back to the fight, one of the residents of the building she fired on falls out of the building screaming as he burns to death, shocking the heroine.
Starlight: Oh my god!
Boomstick: Uh oh! I thought this place was evacuated!
Wiz: Oh no! We should probably call this off...
Black Noir threatens Wiz by stabbing the table with his knife.
Wiz: Well, (chuckles nervously) you know what they say, the show must go on!
Boomstick tries reaching for the knife, but Noir slaps his wrist.
Back on the street, Starlight notices Queen Maeve tossed into a bar right behind her. A-Train suddenly appears and punches her into the brick wall.
Starlight: Big mistake!
Starlight absorbs the electricity from the bar and fires a powerful beam of light into Reggie's eyes, which knocks off his glasses and blinds him.
A-Train: Ah shit! Shit! Can't see!
Queen Maeve stumbles out of the bar holding her head in pain as she accidentally knocks over a trash can.
A-Train: You're dead, Star Bitch!
A-Train mistakes Maggie for Starlight and charges towards her. The warrior assumes a fighting stance and delivers a powerful punch that tears through the speedster's upper body. His moving legs knock Queen Maeve to the other side of the establishment to Starlight's shock. Annie goes to the other side of the bar as Maggie quickly recovers, but is covered in A-Train's blood and organs.
Queen Maeve: Ugh, disgusting...
Butcher: I'll show you disgusting!
Billy arrives back on the street now holding the Supe Baby, which fires a powerful laser from his eyes. Queen Maeve leaps back to avoid the laser as Starlight attempts to fight it with her own beam. When they appear to be at a standstill, Billy quickly steps to the right and aims the baby's face at a nearby skyscraper, cutting it in half.
The top half of the building falls towards the two heroines. Queen Maeve assumes a defensive stance as Starlight accepts her fate.
Starlight: Fuck you...
Starlight is crushed underneath the structure as Queen bursts through the rubble and runs towards the British fighter. Billy shakes the baby to have him fire again as Maggie gets closer.
Butcher: Come on, come on!
He manages to get the baby to fire his powerful lasers again just as his opponent gets within punching distance. Queen Maeve attempts to guard herself with her gauntlets, but the baby's beams prove to be too powerful and tears her into pieces.
Butcher: Fucking diabolical...
Billy smiles as he stands over his defeated opponents.
Boomstick: Wow! What an upset!
Wiz: In a surprising turn of events, the winner is-
Just before Billy fist pumps in victory, Homelander suddenly lands on him and tears him apart. He then catches the Supe baby that flew up from Billy's hands as a beam of light shines towards him and the crowd cheers for him.
Homelander: Ha! All right, keep calm everyone. Everything's fine. After all, I'm the only hero America needs.
Back in the announcer booth, Wiz and Boomstick are shocked by the turn of events.
Boomstick: What!? Can he do that!? Black Noir-
When they turn to face Black Noir, they notice the dark hero missing.
Boomstick: Wait, where'd Noir go? What's going on!? And where's that cheering coming from?
Wiz: Well, thinking about it, even in a stimulation, Queen Maeve or Butcher winning does make sense. You can learn more about it in our analysis video. But I guess it doesn't really matter when you have a pompous, narcissistic asshole like-
Two laser beams suddenly slice off Wiz's right arm. Wiz begins holding his severed shoulder in pain.
Wiz: HOMELANDER! The winner is Homelander! He's great, just great...
Boomstick: I have more limbs than you now. Don't worry buddy, I'll lend you a hand.
Boomstick smiles as Wiz glares at him.
Back in the street, Homelander's eyes turn back to normal as his heat vision wears off before making a speech.
Homelander: If you want to shine like the sun...
He stops after hearing lightning strike in the sky. Stormfront appears and covers the sky in clouds and slowly descends while shooting lightning from her hands.
Stormfront: Hey, nice flex! How about a second round?
Homelander quickly tosses the baby aside as he prepares his heat vision.
Homelander: Ha ha ha, I love a good sequel...
Boomstick: You ever wondered who would win in a battle royale between your favorite superhero team? What about the Seven from the Amazon original series "The Boys"? Only on Prime Video.
Wiz: It's a surprisingly close fight, most of the Seven are fairly on par with one another, well, except for the psychotic ubermench Homelander, who can fly faster than F-16s, toss baseballs into orbit, and was stated to survive every weapon in the world, quite possibly including nuclear bombs.
Boomstick: Yeah, old red, white, and blue balls had no business fighting his teammates.
Wiz: But aside from him, even with their differing powers and skills, none of them had an obvious edge.
Boomstick: And that made this fight a tough beer to crack, well, except for the aquatic asshole, the Deep. I'd say his abilities to talk to fish and breathe under the sea were useless out of the water, but they were just as useless in the water, too.
Wiz: And unlike his teammates, the Deep never really displayed any notable feats of strength or skill, in fact, he's kind of a dork.
Boomstick: To be fair, he said he could survive two miles under the ocean, that's some insane water pressure.
Wiz: The pressure at sea level is about 14.6 pounds per square inch, or one atmosphere. That's literally the pressure of air around you right now, unless your on a mountain or something. This pressure increases by one atmosphere for every ten meters you descend, so after ten meters, it doubles, and after another, it triples, and so on.
Boomstick: And despite my lifelong crusade against the evils of math and the vampire god it's named after, even I can tell the Deep's body had to withstand about four thousand seven hundred pounds per square inch.
Wiz: That's...correct, Boomstick, but still about ten times less then the pressure from your average bullet.
Boomstick: But you know who definitely was bulletproof? The All-American new girl on the block, Starlight. She tanked a couple rounds from a Serbu BFG-50A sniper rifle to the chest like nobody's business.
Wiz: Starlight's impressive durability, training, and flexible energy attacks made her well rounded, but even with the strength to lift the back end of a car, she lacked the power to compete with the rest of the cast.
Boomstick: Yeah, aside from blinding people, her energy blasts aren't all that crazy, they're definitely lethal to regular humans, but not necessarily other Supes.
Wiz: Despite the way they look, they are more than likely plasma beams that emit light rather then being pure light themselves, otherwise they'd normally be invisible.
Boomstick: And they were snails compared to the superstar speedster, and pro-girlfriend murderer, A-Train, who once went all out and ran a race at three hundred seventy-one meters a second! That's just over the speed of sound!
Wiz: So, even if those beams were lightspeed, dodging them would be an enormous outlier.
Boomstick: Since A-Train beat Starlight pretty easy in their mano a womano fight, it's a safe bet the same would happen here, or worse, like the time he turned Robin into a literal smear on the road. Again with the girlfriend murdering!
Wiz: The energy to violently fragment a human body like Robin's is about 7.5 joules per cubic centimeter, based on Robin's actress' height of five feet six inches, she would have an estimated fifty-eight thousand cubic centimeter volume.
Boomstick: That'd make A-Train's instant girlfriend murder attack worth four hundred forty thousand joules! No wonder he can pull four train cars behind him, though, to be fair, that kind of "attack" required him to get up to top speeds and use his whole body, which isn't how he usually fights.
Wiz: His effectiveness depends on the location, and he's surprisingly not very versatile. Despite his speed, he's left himself wide open for sneak attacks in the past.
Boomstick: So, he wouldn't last long against somebody who's more skilled and could no-sell his supersonic body slam.
Wiz: That's where the warrior woman Queen Maeve comes in. Based on her experience and martial artistry, she's clearly the most skilled combatant in the arena, and by far the most durable.
Boomstick: Remember the time she stopped an armored truck with her body? Those kinds of vehicles can weigh over eleven thousand kilograms and move at seventy-five miles per hour.
Wiz: That's a kinetic energy of 6.4 million joules, over ten times greater than A-Train's strongest attack.
Boomstick: And she didn't just survive it, she didn't even feel it! She cut through it like a hot knife through butter just by standing there. At her best, A-Train wouldn't be able to move her, let alone hurt her.
Wiz: So, out of the Deep, Starlight, and A-Train, Queen Maeve was clearly the winner.
Boomstick: But that's where the Cockney super slayer himself, Billy Motherfucking Butcher came in.
Wiz: Obviously, Billy would never win normally, but he was helped by his Supe research, tenacity, and a laser baby, which is totally cheating, but this is Butcher, so of course he would.
Boomstick: A big factor that helped him not get immediately stomped by the tougher Supes, like A-Train or Maeve, was that, kinda ironically, he was just an ordinary human.
Wiz: That's right, he had to be prioritized last, lest they leave themselves open to someone more obviously threatening.
Boomstick: This would allow Butcher time to put his Supe killing smarts to the test and strategize, like in his fight with Translucent in season one.
Wiz: And while most of his arsenal wouldn't be too threatening, he has access to weapons through his contacts designed to take on some of the Seven.
Boomstick: But let's be real, the big one here was the laser baby, that was an insta-win against everybody, even Maeve.
Wiz: The baby's eye beams are plasma, which is absurdly hot ionized gas. Plasma has an energy density of ten billion joules per cubic meter. By measuring the volume of the baby's beams, they'd have to be emitting over fourteen billion joules per attack.
Boomstick: That's over two thousand times more powerful than that truck Maeve stopped. That queen got slayed.
Wiz: Really, the only concern Butcher had was A-Train blitzing him and stealing the baby before he could even use it.
Boomstick: But, since A-Train didn't know jack about it, there's no way he'd have gone for it before getting diced, especially since Butcher played it smart and kept his trump card hidden for as long as possible.
(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick)
Wiz: Of the Seven, minus Homelander, Maeve proved herself to be the strongest, toughest, and the most skilled, making her victory in a battle royal all but assured.
Boomstick: Until Butcher showed up with the laser baby, then he "Butchered" the competition!
Wiz: I feel like that one was too easy.
Boomstick: Ah, Star-lighten up, Wiz! Maeve-y it was, but I've A-Trained in the art of the pun! I figured a joke any more Deep might not have Homelanded!
Wiz: The winner is Billy Butcher. Was, until Homelander brutally murdered him.
Boomstick: And with that, our contract with Vought is over! Kiss my ass, you corporate yuppie freaks!
Wiz: I can't believe they were gonna out us for (bleeped), or the (bleeped), or all those poor (bleeped).
Boomstick: (chuckles) Yeah, that last one was definitely a war crime.
(he looks at the camera)
Boomstick: Wait, are we still recording?
(They hurriedly run over and turn it off)
- This episode was sponsored and done to commemorate the release of Amazon's The Boys Season 2.
- Despite being a bonus episode of DEATH BATTLE, the structure of this episode is more akin to Death Race.
- This is the third bonus episode in the series, after DEATH BATTLE! vs The World and Vegeta VS Mewtwo?.
- This is, however, the first bonus episode to be treated like a real episode and not like a joke.
- This is the first episode to not have a sneak peek of the battle since Thanos VS Darkseid.
- This is the first episode to not have battle music specifically made for it since Smokey Bear VS McGruff the Crime Dog.
- This is the fifth non 'Marvel VS DC' themed Comic Book episode, after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale, Shredder VS Silver Samurai, Deadpool VS Mask and Flash VS Sonic.
- This is the 24th Company themed episode, after Goomba VS Koopa, Haggar VS Zangief, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale, Starscream VS Rainbow Dash, Master Chief VS Doomguy, Zelda VS Peach, Pokémon Battle Royale, Ragna VS Sol Badguy, Beast VS Goliath, Darth Vader VS Doctor Doom, Bowser VS Ganon, Ratchet & Clank VS Jak & Daxter, Meta VS Carolina, Naruto VS Ichigo, Jotaro VS Kenshiro, Crash VS Spyro, Leon Kennedy VS Frank West, Roshi VS Jiraiya, Mega Man Battle Royale, Wario VS King Dedede, Sasuke VS Hiei, All Might VS Might Guy, Black Canary VS Sindel, and with the next one being Red VS Blue.
- This is the seventh Same Series themed episode, after Goomba VS Koopa, Haggar VS Zangief, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale, Pokémon Battle Royale, Meta VS Carolina and Mega Man Battle Royale, and with the next one being Red VS Blue.
- This is the fourth Battle Royale, after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale, Pokémon Battle Royale and Mega Man Battle Royale.
- This is the first Battle Royale to feature voice acting.
- This is the first Battle Royale to feature female combatants.
- This is the 20th Protagonist VS Antagonist themed episode, after Boba Fett VS Samus Aran, Yoshi VS Riptor, Starscream VS Rainbow Dash, Deadpool VS Deathstroke, Kirby VS Majin Buu, Boba Fett VS Samus Aran (Remastered), Guts VS Nightmare, Iron Man VS Lex Luthor, Joker VS Sweet Tooth, Meta VS Carolina, Hulk VS Doomsday, Metal Sonic VS Zero, Balrog VS TJ Combo, Carnage VS Lucy, Black Widow VS Widowmaker, Black Canary VS Sindel, Gray VS Esdeath, Goro VS Machamp and Beerus VS Sailor Galaxia, and with the next one being Venom VS Crona.
- This is the 21st Male VS Female themed episode, after Boba Fett VS Samus Aran, Yoshi VS Riptor, Justin Bieber VS Rebecca Black, Starscream VS Rainbow Dash, Gaara VS Toph, Boba Fett VS Samus Aran (Remastered), Dante VS Bayonetta, Meta VS Carolina, Tracer VS Scout, Zoro VS Erza, Deadpool VS Pinkie Pie, Lara Croft VS Nathan Drake, Lucario VS Renamon, Thor VS Wonder Woman, Carnage VS Lucy, Captain Marvel VS Shazam, Dragonzord VS Mechagodzilla, Mob VS Tatsumaki, Gray VS Esdeath and Beerus VS Sailor Galaxia.
- This is the second episode where the winner dies shortly after winning (In this case Billy Butcher), after All Might VS Might Guy.