Spider-Man shows great power on Death Battle
Boomstick: Okay, so this is a backstory everyone and their mother probably knows, so let's keep the basic details brief. Peter Parker got bit by a radioactive spider and gained superpowers. The end.
Wiz: Well, we can probably be a little more detailed. While at a fieldtrip to an exhibition, child prodigy Peter Parker happened to have gotten bitten by a spider. This spider was accidently exposed to radiation from a demonstration that, ironically, showcased the safety behind disposal of nuclear waste.
Boomstick: Now this spider ended up biting a couple of people, and one idiot even ate it. But today, we're focusing on Peter, who's DNA got mutated and, and let's try this one last time, gave him superpowers. Powers that he used to turn himself into the one and only; Spider-Man.
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- Name: Peter Benjamin Parker
- Age: 27
-Height: 5'10"
-Weight: 167 Ibs
-Hometown: New York
-Founder of Parker Industries
-Has more ex's than Boomstick
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Wiz: Well, there would be more spider heroes...anyway, having growing up as a target of bullies and financial struggles, Peter didn't jump straight into a superhero, but first abused his powers for personal gain by becoming a wrestler, easily overpower larger fighters. In fact, helping others was so far from his mind, that when he saw thief running away, he ignored him.
Boomstick: Weeks later, that same thief met and shot Pete's uncle/father figure, Ben Parker. Yeah, so Peter's parents already died, and then he indirectly got his adopted father killed. I mean, damn, that's three parents this kid lost.
Wiz: This gave Peter the kick in the butt that he needed to remember what Uncle Ben once said; 'With great power comes great responsibility'. Vowing to never make the same mistake again and not to let anyone else lose their loved ones, Peter decided the real reason he was given his powers and truly became the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
Boomstick: And that's how he started to see the real limits of his spider powers. Like a real spider, he can stick to walls and climb on any surface, and just like the a real spider, he's super strong and super fast. Granted, I don't know if that science checks out.
Wiz: Actually, it does. When considering proportions, a spider is about two-hundred and fifty times stronger than a human. Of course, Spider-Man has gone even further. On a normal day, he can react forty times faster than a normal man and can bench-press eighty tons and throw and even destroy tanks with his bare hands. Of course, when pushed to his limits, he can potentially reach almost double that strength, such as when he held up a hundred and thirty ton train.
Boomstick: He also has one of the most broken abilities in comic book history, and say it with me; The spider-sense. An alarm clock in his head that tells him whenever something bad is about to happen to him.
Wiz: While it's not an automatic defense, it does function as though it knows everything around his immediate area and warns where and when trouble will strike. It also operates within a few hundredths of a second, almost as if time is slowing down, giving Spider-Man more time to react to such dangers or even plan extra steps ahead of a fight. It can even give him minor warnings, like if the milk is bad or when the mail arrives, as the Spider-Sense is never really turned off. Regardless of its purpose, it's entirely up to Peter himself to recognize and follow through with these warnings.
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Abilities:
-Super strength, speed, agility, and durability
-Wall climbing
-Spider-Senses
-Improved healing
Spider armor:
-Web shooters
-Bug Zappers
-Spider Drones
-Explosives
-Scanners
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Boomstick: Yeah, and even the spider sense itself can be tricked if it doesn't think Spidey is in danger, but given how long he's been Spider-Man, he knows how to rely on it. He can detect poison, completely counter stealth attacks, pick up on violent intent before someone even makes their move, and can even safely walk through a minefield. Now THAT requires a LOT of trust.
Wiz: When combined with his own enhanced reflexes, he can even use the spider-sense to perform even more superhuman feats. He can already dodge bullet fire without the spider-sense, but with it, he has dodged Electro's lightning many, many times. He can even avoid lightspeed attacks for a while before getting hit.
Boomstick: Sure, he's strong and fast like all of the Marvel superheroes he's nerded out from over as kid, but that doesn't change one single fact: He's a total nerd.
Wiz: Very true. Like you're truly, Peter has always been a scientists just as much as he's been Spider-Man, always building his own tools and weapons, including some made for specific villains. After founding his own company, he could better fund his own Spider-Man equipment and research, including for the most up-to-date model of his most iconic tool; The web-shooter.
Boomstick: Because what's a spider without shooting web from your butt. You would be...well, you'd be Spider-Man, because he shoots them from his hands, but hey! That just makes it a better tool for grabbing a beer. Behold!
"Shoots out a stream of web into the distance, and...pulls DUMMI towards him Scorpion style"
Boomstick: Hey, DUMMI, do me a favor and grab us a couple of beers, would you?
DUMMI: Very well. But you couldn't just called me here.
Wiz: The web-shooters fires highly pressured "web fluid" which very much mirrors that of real world spider silk, though on a much larger scale, with a tensile strength being very similar to that of steel. Unlike steel though, which is hard and brittle, webbing is soft and sticky, which can be shaped and formed for all sorts of uses, including binding villains who are otherwise strong enough to smash through steel.
Boomstick: Swinging across New York to travel, bullet-shaped projectiles, parachutes, shields, and even swords if the source material is particularly old and silly.
Wiz: But the greatest creation to come from Parker Industries is the most recent version of his classic Spider-Man costume; The Mark IV spider armor. At this point, his arsenal is going to sound more like a Batman rundown than anything.
Boomstick: X-ray and infrared vision, scanners that can detect all sorts of things, even magic somehow. sonic disrupters, mini-spider bombs, acid webbing for his web-shooters, spider drones, built-in tasers ironically called Bug Zappers, and it even buffs his already superhuman strength and durability. With it, he can tank blows from Collective Man, a five-in-one superhero with the collective power of all of a billion people.
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Feats:
-Joined the Avengers and Fantastic Four
-Soloed the Sinister Six
-Can break Dr. Octopus's robot arms.
-Survived the Tritium bomb explosion
-Dodged Lightmaster's...light.
-Earned J. Jonah Jameson's respected __
Wiz: Assuming this refers to an adult, the average of which can punch with up to four-hundred and fifty joules of energy, Spider-Man would've been taking hits worth about twenty tons of TNT fairly casually. He's also survived the tritium bomb that destroyed the Daily Bugle, a blast that would've been worth more than six times the Collective Man punch (As first seen in Carnage vs Lucy).
Boomstick: Speaking of explosions, one of Spidey's oldest enemies, Doc Ock, once shielded himself from a two kiloton explosion with his robot arms. And you know what Spidey can do with an older version of his spider armor? Rip them those arms in half!
Wiz: Since losing his Uncle Ben and donning the name Spider-Man, Peter's hardships never ended, but powered through everything that has been thrown at him. Now grown as a fully mature adult and among the most recognizable superheroes, he often sets the standard for fellow heroes, including other spider-humans like himself. He's even joined the Avengers, world's greatest hero team.
Boomstick: Well, what else would you expect from the first and probably best friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?
"You want me to come over there so you can kill me?"
...
"I'll be right there."
-Spider-Man and one of his seemingly endless smart-ass remarks.